This the final part of this series. Please read the first 2 blogs. I hope you enjoy!
Now obviously we are going to lose some of those battles to our human nature. There will be days where Satan wins and we build up “footholds” against each other. There will be times when we can’t see how to love certain people, we won’t be able to see past their “faults” and annoying habits to see them as God does. This is where the biggest struggle of the human race comes in, loving people like God loves them. Seeing each person as God’s child, made in his image, created by our Heavenly Father. I have often heard that what annoys us most about other people is exactly what God is trying to work on in our own lives. So if I look at my teammate and think, “Oh good grief, she is so stubborn and thinks she is always right”, that is most likely what God is saying that I need to change in my life. I need to look inward and let God work on my pride and make me more humble. Once I allow that change to happen within me then I won’t be bothered by it in other people. I will be able to look past it and see them more like God does.
Of course as wonderful as that all sounds, it’s a lot harder to actually do each day, especially if you aren’t relying on God to help you through this process. In order to love each other like God loves us, we must start seeing everyone as his child, his precious creation, and the sacred temple of the Holy Spirit. Part of this process of battling through Satan’s attacks and loving like God loves is learning to “hold our tongues” and speak to each other kindly. Recently our team listened to a sermon by Francis Chan, the senior pastor of Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley, California. His sermon, “You Talk to Much”, was all about learning to speak to each other with kindness and loving each other through our words. He challenged us to realize that loving each other isn’t about “holding our tongues” or “suppressing our ill-feelings”, but it is all about changing our hearts and loving like God does.
We must learn to truly believe that every person we come in contact with each day is God’s creation and his sacred temple. As such, we need to treat each other with love, respect, and reverence. 1 Corinthians 3:16-18 :
“Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple.”
So if we choose to speak harshly towards each other, hold grudges, or harbor any ill thoughts of our fellow man then we are holding those grudges, ill thoughts, and harsh words towards God himself. We are sacred vessels that carry around in us the power of the Hold Spirit and if someone attacks us then they are attacking God, and will be subject to his justice. Instead we are to build each other up in love and forgive each other just as God forgave us. We shouldn’t hold any anger and or grudges against each other. Ephesians 4:29-31 :
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
One of my favorite parts of that passage is the part about grieving the Holy Spirit. If we speak out to each other in anger or bitterness, if we hold grudges against one another without forgiving we will actually grieve God. Our hateful words actually cause God’s Spirit to be distressed and causes him pain. We must learn to speak out only what “builds others up”, meaning what edifies them, what brings them joy and causes them to become closer to God. Francis Chan reminds us that in order get rid of evil words and bitterness that we must allow God to make a change in our hearts, to allow him to fully fill our hearts with his love so that we may show it to all those around us. Matthew 12:34 :
“…For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him , and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that man will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted and by your words you will be condemned.”
It is clearly written in Matthew that the words that come out of our mouths are a reflection of what is in our hearts and one day we will be judged by those words and our hearts. So we obviously need to take a serious look at the way we speak to each other and ask ourselves is this really coming from a loving place or an evil one? Is this something that will bring glory to God and lift this person up? Would I be saying this or thinking these things if I was looking God in the face? Remember, we are each sacred temples that house the Holy Spirit, God’s very being. So whatever you say, think or do to someone you are doing directly to God.
At the end of the sermon Francis Chan shared a pretty interesting and useful tool to help us “tame our tongues and hearts” He challenges us to THINK each time are about to say something to someone.
H elpful – Is it going to help or build the person up?
I nspirational – Does it bring glory to God?
N ecessary – Does it really need to be said?
K ind – Are these words filled with grace?
Remember that loving others like God does is an incredibly difficult task, one that we all need to continue to strive towards and one that we will all continue to fail at. This however is not the point. The point in all this is learning to be more like God, hungering and thirsting for more of him. By doing this we will in turn be more likely to love others as he does, and succeed at holding our tongues and checking our hearts. We must realize that when we get frustrated and annoyed with each other we do need to get rid of these ill feelings. This does not mean that we are to turn to someone else and speak badly about a friend. This does not mean that we are to unleash years of pent-up frustration on your family just so that you can sleep better at night. This also doesn’t mean that you are to go to the person you are angry with and yell and scream until they beg for forgiveness. When you get frustrated you must bring all these things to God and lay them at his feet. We must learn to allow him to show us how to look past these annoyances and still love the person as God does. Obviously there are still times when you must bring your frustrations to that specific person, but always in a loving and grace-filled way. We must always stop and THINK about what we are going to say and how we are saying it. It is our responsibility to show them God’s love through the conversation and stop talking when it is no longer building the person up, when it isn’t glorifying God anymore. Proverbs 10:19 :
“When words are many, sin is not absent,
But he who holds his tongue is wise.”
Getting to this point in your life is not something that will come easily or naturally. Satan will continue to try and fight us tooth and nail the entire way. He will use any means necessary to keep us from becoming more like God. So when you hit the wall, you must realize it and must release all your control to God. You must then stand up and fight against Satan. God is right beside you the entire time and will never leave you. You must learn to love each other like God does. Don’t let Satan use you to tear down Godly relationships. Allow God to fill you up with love and always remember to THINK before you speak. We are God’s sacred temple and as such we should be treated with the respect and reverence that he deserves.
