We were asked to write a blog about how we were called to this mission trip. So here’s my story…
But in actuality a labyrinth is a path that doubles back on itself several times and leads to a center. It is used as a spiritual tool as a metaphor for the Christian life: a meandering but purposeful journey. There is a purpose to the twists and turns, it is used to purify and find clarity and insight and to learn to hear the voice of God. That has been my life, a series of twists and turns that have had me fearful but also excited about what is waiting for me around the next corner. Although on the outside I appear to be the “put-together healthy all-American Christian girl”, I have been through my fair share of struggles, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
In middle school I was pretty much a terror for my family. I lied, manipulated, and cheated my way through life so I could get what I wanted. I even broke the law and was threatened with expulsion from school in 8th grade, though no one outside my immediate family has ever known anything about that. But through the mist of all that God was working, he was showing me in small ways that I was meant for more than that, that message came from my sunday school teacher, Kati Randolph.
In high school I began to work my way out of that valley and up the mountain to being closer with God. I had some amazing mountaintop experiences with God during those four years. This is when I first experienced what mission work was all about. I went on a variety of trips with my church’s youth group, including my one and only trip overseas to BELIZE!! Working with the children in that orphanage deeply impacted my soul; it was there that I first realized that “real” mission work is a pretty cool thing to do. I learned what an awesome experience it is to show someone the true love of Christ and what a JOY it is to bring someone closer to God. Once I graduated high school however, I put missions on the back burner and was ready to experience the “real-world”; outside of my parents arm reach I felt like I could do anything and go anywhere and have no problems.
Boy, was I wrong!!
My first year I was incredibly involved with the Baptist Student Union at MSU and loved every minute of it; I met some amazing people and most of my best friends from college came from that first year at the BSU. But by the time my sophomore year rolled around I had gotten a new job and felt the pressures to conform to the patterns of this world. The devil began to pull me farther and farther away from God and from my true purpose in life. My junior year I was hit with some serious physical struggles. I was in chronic back pain for months and went from doctor to doctor trying to figure out what was wrong and how to fix it. By the time they figured it out, I had become dependent on all my medications and couldn’t function without them, I began to gain weight (because all I did was lie in bed), I cried on a daily basis and eventually became quite depressed with my life and what God had put me through. It was here that I was in my lowest of all the valleys, I felt like I was slipping down into the earth as the devil put more and more weight on me. Then one day God spoke to me through someone I had never even met (we had a mutual friend) and reminded me of God’s amazing grace and how that no matter how far I stray from the path that God is always standing there waiting for me to come back and follow him. In that moment of prayer with this new found friend I could feel God’s love washing over me and completely healing my pain and forgiving my sins. Even though I still have the back pain I know that this is just a reminder that everyone has hard time they go through in life but they make it through by trusting in God, it reminds me of how far I fell and how far I’ve come since that year.
After college I struggled with what I was supposed to with my life, both professionally and personally. I had numerous opportunities to start grad school in pursuit of different careers but for some reason, none of them seemed right for me at the time. So I found a “just-for-now” job at a children’s hospital and also began workin at my church with our youth group. I soon realized that this is why God was telling me to push back grad school. The coworkers and patients that I met at the hospital were in my life for a reason, each one playing a different part in my journey to this year in mission work. Those babies that I was able to play with every day reminded me of all the tragic things that can happen to a child and that there are millions of children around the world hurting just like them. They showed me unconditional love when none had been shown to them by their families, they taught me about living for today and not tomorrow (because tragically some of them never got a tomorrow), they helped me rely on God in the face of adversity, and to experience the peace that comes from understanding that there is a reason for all that HE does.
My work with the youth group reminded me about my love of helping others, those youth are so amazing in the own unique ways and being able to help them through their struggles has brought me so much joy! The work I did with them on a mission trip to Waco, TX was such a God send! The children we met and played with during our street camps touched my heart in so many ways. It was such a blessing! Working with the youth minister, Elias Garcia, has helped me in ways he doesn’t even realize.
So through all of my twists and turns in my life I have my struggles and I’ve had my blessings. Each one teaching me something new and leading me to the person I am today. As I’ve gone through this labyrinth that is my life I am approaching the center, I am hearing God’s call and receiving his purification, insight, and grace. The center of the labyrinth for me is to go on The World Race; to leave my comforts, family, friends, and security and to enter into the unknown, the unfamiliar, and unseen. To give myself fully to God and to the people that I will meet on my squad and the people we will be ministering to.
Where is God calling you? What does the center of your labyrinth look like?
“Stand at the crossroads, and look,
ask for the ancient paths,
where the good way lies;
and walk in it,
and find rest for your souls.”
Jeremiah 6:16
