Life is a journey. I hear it over and over. Self-discovery, self-actualization, all that humanistic stuff. My odyssey of self, all this exploration into who I am, has led me to at least a few discoveries. One, I am not God. If I were God, I would have changed a few things about myself, but because I am who God made me, then I need to relax, and realize He is not done yet. I need to be willing to change, allow my character to be formed. I have heard so many people say that “I am who I am and that is not changing”, with that kind of determination (self-fulfilling prophecy?), good luck.
One thing I have learned about myself, is given the option, I probably wouldn’t want to spend too much time with me. In preparing for this world race I have entered into a whole new realm of discovery, of God, who God made me, God’s plans for my life. Character development, God’s shaping of me, can be painful. And I guess these blogs are a pretty open way to communicate what God is doing in my life.
In 2001, I was out hiking the Appalachian Trail. I stayed in a shelter- with this hippie type person (who probably thought I was the eccentric) who had these cards, to determine your totem. We did this little game where cards got placed and picked, and something like 10 different cards to describe your personality were pulled. These cards all had an animal and a description on them, of what the animal represents. I don’t remember all the animals- but I remember my main type. Before I flipped over the card, I was sure that I was going to be something manly, like a bear, wolf, mountain lion, bison, even a moose would have been pretty cool.
Fast forward to our training with AIM, and taking a few personality tests, one of which was called “Leading from your Strengths”. This was a quick test and I have since read the book explaining it and watched a DVD on this, very interesting, I would suggest it for any ministry team, or just to know better who God made you. There are four types of animal represented on this test, with a whole write up on your personality afterward. When I got the results (the four options were lion, otter, golden retriever, and beaver), I immediately called Linnea (my wife) and read her some of it, she said it sounded dead on.
Because I often dwell on the negatives, all I could see at first was the stuff I didn’t like: the way I interact with people, how opinionated I am, how inattentive to detail I am. I still think my personality is probably closer to what I found out on the trail- the porcupine. Leading from your strengths has me as a lion. I am not sure what a hybrid of the two would be called,
maybe I could ask Napoleon Dynamite, I wonder if a Lioncupine would be his second favorite animal. Hmmm… maybe porcupion (pronounced porky- pee- on: to describe me as a child).
According to the card, a porcupine likes to do his own thing and has his defenses there so other people won’t rain on his parade, the problem is the quills wound at random, and the porcupine has trouble getting close to anyone. (so sorry if I have held you away, or stuck you with my quills, I just have a very tender underside) I guess it is still better than being a skunk.
So I hope the lion is more accurate, it sounds like a way cooler animal, so I just ask for your patience and grace as God continues shaping me.
