I was walking out of our basement apartment’s large bedroom when Linnea yelled out (I thought she was asleep), “What about ‘Sequoia’?”
“Sure”, I said, and, trying to tease my wife of two months, “we can call her ‘sequsy’!”
When we found out my American Bulldog, Pallas, had bone cancer, we were heartbroken.
Linnea and I had been dating for almost a year, and Pallas had started to limp.
We tried every rehab trick we knew (swimming, massage, ice, anti-inflammatories, rest, compression,….) but her leg continued to bother her.
After she had limped for over a week, we took her in to the vet.
We had X-rays done, and Dr. Bailey came out in tears.
Pallas had bone cancer and the options were not good.
A few months later she was dead.
I have avoided dealing with her death for over 2 years now, and what I just typed was enough.
After she died, we had our hearts set on getting another dog, Linnea loves dogs, and I wanted another American Bulldog.
As we researched dogs, and realized we had to wait until we were married (waiting until you are married is difficult, and may speed up the engagement if you know what I mean.
It doesn’t get any easier to wait the closer you get to the wedding day), we started looking at English Mastiffs.
We fell in love with this breed as we researched them.
Massive dogs.
Some of the breeders were advertising their stud at 280 pounds!
Gentle giants.
Low energy couch potatos.
At that point in my life, after strongman training, my size and pain in my joints made us sound like a match made in heaven.
So instead of going on a fancy honeymoon, we decided to buy a mastiff, and two months after our wedding, we had our baby.
As our pastor says, when you have a baby, she will be a dog again.
For now, we had our baby.
We named her ‘Sequoia’ after the big tree, an apt name.
When I researched the name, Sequoia, sequoya, or sekoya, all seem to be spelling for a famous cherokee.
This cherokee worked with missionaries to make an alphabet for the language, which could be used to print a bible.
In return for his hard work he earned the name ‘Sequoia’, which is as close to the cherokee for ‘pig’ as anyone can tell.
The missionaries it is assumed called him ‘pig’ because of some type of birth defect.
Go figure.
Sequoia’s first weekend with us, we took her camping.
That was the night with the flying attack squirrel and hanging out under the power lines until Jodi decided she wanted to go sit in her car with the light on.
And Ryan playing charades.
Sequoia would love camping, and biking, and hiking.
This past summer she made an attempt up Mt. Jefferson until we figured the weather made it too dangerous.
Going to the dog park, where she would play with so many different dogs, until her brother/nephew named Achilles would show up, then the two of them were exclusive.
We brought Sequoia everywhere, and she would always do ‘both’.
This is when she would find a way to touch us both at the same time as we would drive.
We would drop her off with the Obloms everytime we went somewhere that she couldn’t come, and we are so happy that she is in a good spot.
A place where she is loved and safe.
We are not worried, and are so thankful for the Obloms, everything they have been in our lives.
I am typing this because we miss her.
I am also typing this because of Linnea’s emotions and how we deal with things.
I try to avoid thinking about a lot of what is going on at home.
I can usually avoid many issues, except when I am asleep.
Then I have dreams, but when we are awake, Linnea likes to look at our pictures of Sequoia.
And I look at them, even though it makes me sad, I know I need to look at them with Linnea.
I need to be there with Linnea emotionally.
I need to be willing to face the heartache, to share with my woman.
I hope I never lose that, even though I find I am not quite the ‘Lover’ I fancy I am.
And I don’t mean that sexually.
I read books about what a man needs to do to love his wife, on the emotional level.
I read it, like books on God, ideas that make sense.
But living it!
How does a man grow in his love for his wife?
How does a man improve as a lover?
How does a man make his wife really feel loved?
Love is an idea that I walk around, that I think about, but just can’t grasp.
We miss our dog.
