I woke up this morning with my head full of stuff, and this is the process as I typed it. I only tried to proof read it for spelling, the rest is a raw crappy first draft, just thinking and typing and now you get to read it.
“Maybe someday I won’t be so lonely and I’ll walk on water, every chance I get”, words from a song called “Time and Time Again”, by the Counting Crows. I love this song, that line is so catchy, but what does it mean, and do I walk on water every chance I get?
What does it mean to walk on water? How would I walk on water every chance I get? Where would the motivation come to walk on water? Is walking on water just something more exciting than sitting in the boat? Am I supposed to walk on water? Literally?
This question reminds me of a joke about two duck hunters who were bragging about their dogs. Each hunter was saying that his own dog was the best, and just then some ducks flew in and were shot and one of the dogs ran across the water and retrieved the duck and was back while the other dog was still paddling his way out. The owner of the swimming dog said to the owner of the water walking dog, “I guess your dog can’t swim, huh?”.
Is walking on water something that is desirable or feasible? Is this simply a figure of speech we use now? Is walking on water something we try to do to prove our spirituality, to have a fun experience? How many of us love to swim?
I hate bumper stickers, but my older brother loves them, and he has one that says: “if you think you’re perfect, try walking on water”. Is walking on water evidence of perfection?
What flashed through Peter’s mind when he jumped out of the boat? What was his intent? Matthew says that the disciples were terrified when they saw Jesus, they thought he was a ghost. When Jesus told them “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” Peter replied, “Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water.” And Jesus said, “Come”. Then Peter got out of the boat and walked toward Jesus. (Matt 14:22-29)
Walking on water, every chance I get would probably mean pursuing life. What does it mean to pursue life? Pursue the maker of life? The life giver? For a person to get out of the boat, would require an understanding of the bigger picture. When I am not living this, I think it is because I have my eyes on myself, which is most of the time.
Why would someone risk a failure, tantamount to death, attempt something he has never seen, to be with his Lord? Why would someone leave what seems to be a safer situation to pursue something life threatening? I would guess there are two perceptions that Peter had that the other eleven in the boat missed.
One perception is that the boat is safe. Maybe Peter, a fisherman by trade, knew something about the conditions and the boat that the others were missing? Maybe Peter did not trust the safety of the boat, or was he simply bored of the boat? Maybe the conversation in the boat was killing him. People talking about things they will never do. People coming up with excuses for staying in the boat. Maybe Peter would rather risk death than sit through another meeting of the disciples? I don’t know, what makes some stay in a situation while others leave it?
Peter asked Jesus to identify himself and prove himself…a risky proposition indeed. How many people are willing to ask that of the Lord? I have heard many people say that we are not to put the lord our God to the test…but repeatedly it seems God loves to be tested. Maybe we need to understand that idea better?
Lord, if it is you, call me out! Is that truly testing the Lord, or putting one’s self to the test? Why wouldn’t Peter simply say, if that is you Lord…what is my favorite color? A stupid little game. One that would not require anything of Peter. Just the Lord. Petty. How many of us are willing to ask the Lord to call us out? How many of us are willing to get out of the boat? I think many of us could really care less, we would love to ‘follow our dreams’ to get out of the boat, if it just looked a little safer. If we had a guarantee.
To me, getting out of the boat depends on our understanding of God. Many people are in situations they want to be out of, or have a situation they would love to pursue, if only God were real!
So many people waiting for God to clear the way, to make the way easy to pursue. Jesus did not calm the water for Peter. We want God to do things our way. We won’t start a process of pursuing our dreams or asking God to call us out until we have done a full risk assessment, hedged our bets, every door is open, and we are in control. To me, this simply is not the way God works as evidenced by this story.
Knowing God, experiencing God, this seems to be the first obstacle to walking on water. For those of us who claim to believe in God, those of us who make moral judgments on others, have a religion we think is correct, what are we missing?
I would assume most of us do not believe in the God of the Bible, we believe the God of our imaginations and the beliefs of our families. A God we make up to justify our lives. We understand God the way our parents know Him, as modeled by their lives. We believe in the same God as the other people clinging to the boat. I wonder what would have happened if the disciples saw this ghost and decided to have a vote on what to do next. Maybe Peter would have to sit through a team meeting and hear how everyone else was feeling before he could act? Maybe a committee could be formed to study the feasibility of Jesus walking on water. Is it in the budget? In our situations, so often we look to the advice of the majority of scared people around us, we ask the depressed and oppressed if it is worth the risk to get out of the boat?
What was Peter thinking? I know for me, I have over the past few years asked Jesus to call me out. I would assume I have missed hundreds of opportunities, but there have been times, such as this world race, where if I believed Jesus were calling me out, and I drowned or failed, I would not have to call out to this Lord anymore. Is this faith not an all or nothing proposition? How do we half step it? What if Jesus were unable to pull Peter out of the water? To bring him back to the boat? I would guess this would make Jesus a less likely person I would want to follow.
For this world race people asked me all kinds of what ifs. What if something doesn’t work out? Well, either it was not God’s will, there is no God, or I did not hear correctly. I don’t know, it is a search.
As I think about these things there are all kinds of things I believe God is calling me out of the boat on, all kinds of challenges. Team things, will I get out? The future, do I even want to pursue God? I don’t know.
