Delusions. How I see myself. What I am living for. Right and Wrong? What I accept as truth? What do I center life on? (that is easy, my appetites).
I signed up for this World Race in a delusion. The person I am trying to be, the person I imagine myself as, is a person who would do this world race. Living in community, serving God, serving the world, and serving each other. This idea totally clicked with me. One issue I felt I was sure to have was just being affiliated with a religious organization. I have never done well conforming to someone else’s delusion, but the more I understood the vision of AIM, the more I was willing to give it a shot. I guess I expected this to change my life, but did not expect such a challenge to my delusion.
The person who I view as a true SAGE, Andrew Shearman, is also Seth Barnes’s mentor. Andrew came to Cusco for our debrief, and did some teaching. Andrew also sat in our team meetings and provided his wisdom. I often miss details, so if any of this is wrong, someone please correct me. Andrew is about my dad’s age, and is a second generation preacher. He is from England (home of some of my favorite beers) and used to do a lot of preaching around Europe.
One of the epiphanies Andrew brought to my delusion from his delusion is this: stop spending your time at the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Stop arguing about right and wrong. Spend your time at the tree of life. Make decisions based on that of bringing life. Stop trying to be right, decide to bring life.
Another is that of ego. The delusion I live is to protect my ego. Stop living for my ego, my reputation. Understand that I don’t know everything. Be unoffendable. To realize that it is pride in me that takes offence. When it is no longer I who live in me, but it is Christ in me. (I’ll let you know when I actually understand this, and don’t hold your breath for me to live it). To die to myself. Then I can be used by God.
The greatest test of Christ in me is in interpersonal relationships. Learning to love others, especially those who are difficult to love.
To accept offences as gifts from God, as God is teaching us to be unoffendable. Very few things in life are important enough to be offended by.
These are just a few of his teachings that I trust and am trying to add to my delusion. These are thoughts I am processing now, as this debrief has totally rocked my delusion.
