Back home in WV I’ve spent a good amount of time around train tracks. Driving across them, walking on them, taking pictures near them – maybe it’s a southern thing, but train tracks always remind me of home.
{ Thurmond WV with a few wonderful people in my life 🙂 }
Or they did until last week.
Now I fear I’ll forever be reminded of darkness when tracks are in my sight.
Ya see, here in Guatemala City the tracks run right through a main prostitution area. To the hundreds of women who work in this area, the tracks don’t remind them of home, they remind them of Hell.
Our host took us in to La Linea on Thursday to talk with the ladies and maybe paint their nails and share a little about why we are doing this trip, if they would let us. With no idea how to politely interrupt their day, we all paired off and just started walking up to doors and saying hello. The first girl that let Kate and I in was 20 years old and is working there because she only finished 9th grade and has no other way to support her two children. Since her father passed away last December and a motorcycle accident has disabled her mother, she has no one to help her now. She says her dream is to finish school and not have to work there anymore. She was sweet, and funny, and interested in talking with us. We talked with her for at least 30 minutes, praying with her and telling her stories of our lives and listening to hers. 20 years old.
What were you doing at 20 years old? Because I highly doubt it was selling your body because it was the only way for you to make money to feed your children.
Then, after a small break to wrap our heads around what we had just encountered, we entered our second room. This girl let us in to paint her nails, but the feel and situation were completely different. She was very hesitant. Wouldn’t tell us how old she was, though she looked no older than 16. She was from a different country. Has a daughter. Was studying to be a nurse, but hasn’t since she started working here. She only came here to work.And to top it all off, none of her answers to questions lined up. Through many awkward silences because we were running out of questions for her to dodge, Kate and I just looked at each other while the girl stared at the ground. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, all of these signs basically scream human trafficking. There is no doubt in my mind this young girl is not choosing to be in that job. And I could do nothing but sit there beside her. I’ve never felt so helpless.
There is a big difference between knowing that human trafficking happens & actually sitting on a bed beside a girl it is currently happening to. It is, in all sense of the word, absolutely heartbreaking.
And then we left. We walked out of that room, becoming just another back she would see. We walked to our car, and went on about our day. But I haven’t been able to shake the nauseous feeling in my stomach and the depressing thoughts in my head. Which kinda sucks since I now have zero doubt that God has called me to work in a ministry that fights for justice. This is far from the last situation of this kind I am going to see — so I now have a new challenge.
I’m not quite sure how I will be able to fully enjoy anything now. Or how I can care about my own luxuries anymore. I know God is in control, somehow, even when I can’t see it or don’t understand. I know that through walking out His calling for my life, His will be done in the lives I touch. But this is a heavy, sad, heartbreaking door He has opened for me to walk though.
I’ve been waiting for the opportunity to minister to women in prostitution since the beginning of this trip. I wanted to see it first hand. To make sure what I thought I felt God calling me to was real or if it was just me wanting to do something about a bad situation. And finally here I am, month 11, more sure than ever that I’ve found my calling. However, I’m not excited like I expected to be. I’m scared to death. But that’s the beginning of all new challenges right? Feeling the fear of all things new and the fear of failure push against you. The first true step comes with trusting that God will equip you with the strength you need to push back and walk on.
{ Team R&R – Guatemala. Month 11 }
Looks like I’ve found what’s next folks. I pray for my passion for this ministry to continue to grow and for guidance toward exactly which part I am called to play. I also pray for all of you who may know your calling but have your own fears to face or reasons to avoid it. Trust that God is bigger and if you follow where He leads you, only there will you find true meaning and joy in this life.
