Rule 1: Don’t break in new shoes on the Race.
By day 4, I had blisters on blisters (literally). I have packed away the Chacos (for now) and have been sticking to my Toms and tennis shoes. Between walking 8-20 miles a day there hasn’t been a lot of healing time for my swollen & blistered feet. Today it was bad enough to stay home from ministry… I just couldn’t do it anymore. As I sit here and watch my teammates go off to visit schools and engage in the community I take the alone time to ponder some other things on my heart.
Back home, I’m always on the go. I’m one of those people that push and push and push. So far the Race hasn’t been much different. If I’m feeling empty, I give myself a pep talk and keep going. If I’m feeling frustrated, I bite my tongue and keep going. If I’m feeling homesick, I refocus and keep going. But today was different, I can’t keep going- and that’s breaking me. I knew this would happen at some point, but I had hoped it wouldn’t be so soon. I didn’t feel ready for the emotional upheaval I knew was just around the corner.
As my teammates returned, they told me about how a woman’s back was healed, three people accepted Christ as their Savior, they were able to set some individuals up in a Bible study/church, and began helping restore a marriage.
To be honest, at first I was upset. I was upset and frustrated I had missed out. I was mad that I wasn’t a part of it. I’d been going out daily for two weeks and TODAY of all the days, why did EVERYTHING good seem to happen without me. After all, days like this was what I came here to do: Matthew 10:8.
As they left again, for the afternoon I had to set aside my pride and come to the Lord asking where those feelings and emotions really came from… cue emotional upheaval. I kept coming back to my blisters and my pain. I feel like God has been really showing me this month some blistered areas on my heart.
If we address the blisters on our soles, why won’t we stop to address the blisters on our soul? The lesson: You have to take time to heal from your pain. ??What is a blister but an irritation that was allowed to fester? Have I always taken time in my personal life to let blisters heal on my soul? No, I’ve always pushed through.
This month God has been challenging me to grow in dealing with the pain, healing, and processing in the present. I only get 11 months to live my life this way. I get to fall in love with people and love them really hard for 30 days, then leave them possibly forever. I don’t want to spend that time being bitter and resentful. I don’t want to live this year suffering from pain; I want to live in freedom and truth. I’m learning that in order to enjoy the view from the mountain, sometimes you have to walk through and endure the journey through the valley.
What blisters do you have in your life?
