These last three months have been the most uncomfortable months of my life. Everything I ever sought out for comfort is no longer available to me. My family, the most important people to me, are no longer around to hug me or make me laugh when I am sad or stressed. My room, a place I went to quiet the business around me and binge listen to podcasts, is now the equivalent of my sleeping pad and sleeping bag.
The race is hard, some days are harder than others. I do not ever want to over glamorize or romanticize this season of my life, or any season for that matter. Everyday is not always an adventure. Ministry can be frustrating. Living in community can be chaotic and overwhelming. My Instagram does not do justice to what the race has REALLY looked like for me.
The race has looked like getting stopped in the middle of the grocery store by local children so they could play a mini cajon concert for us. The race has looked like carrying bricks up and down a hill for hours five days a week and doing riddles to pass the time. The race has looked like commuting an hour and a half to and from ministry everyday and stopping at the same empanada stand + building friendships with them. The race has looked like the entire squad singing random Christmas songs in unison as Fabe comes in to talk for an hour and a half before dinner. The race has looked like skipping down the street of an art gallery and having Ecuadorian men lip-sync at us and feeling like an actual, real life cheetah girl!!!! The race has looked like playing hide and seek with three year olds by day and washing multicolored chairs by night. The race has looked like feeling so homesick that my heart actually aches. The race has looked like dirt, smudgy windows, mayo splotches, boogers, and so many stains. The race has looked like fifteen missing pairs of socks, so much bread, and deep conversations over the dinner table. The race has looked like three hour Spanish church services and getting asked to lead worship on the spot. The race has looked like dance parties, over-dramatic story telling, and sharing literally everything except underwear. The race has looked like sitting with each other in the emotions of missing holidays for the first time. The race has looked like sweeping and re-sweeping, instant coffee, and a whole lot of genuine belly laughs. The race has looked like becoming sisters with woman who are much different than I, and learning that friendship is not only for the like-minded, but for everyone.
My dad always told me I would learn more traveling than I would my first year of college and I always shrugged that comment off, not because I did not believe it but because I did not understand what he meant by it. Now I understand he meant I would learn how to be joyful (we tried) about cleaning both the boys and girls bathrooms for the entire squad for two weeks. I would learn patience because sometimes when we’re rushed to a place there is nothing for us to do quite yet. He knew I would learn how to deal with my discomfort in healthy ways, like pressing into community and friendship. My dad knew that my heart would break seeing the pain and daily struggle families have in this world. He knew that in seeing those things God would set the once small flame inside of me into a wildfire of desire to love and speak up for those who feel they can’t speak up for themselves.
I have learned and experienced more than I ever thought possible in such a small amount of time. God has pushed- no, thrown me, into discomfort. And in that discomfort I am beginning to see myself the way He sees me. I am beginning to press into the hard things and seek the good in all things. My eyes are opening wider to the world around me and God is breaking my heart for what breaks his.
Thank you so much to everyone who has helped me get this far. I could not be here without your prayer, words of encouragement and financial support. I still have roughly $3,500 left to fund raise before I am fully funded and that would be the BEST Christmas gift of all! I am genuinely humbled to have such a strong support system who loves me so well from a literal different continent. I love you alllll, peace, love, and joy!!!!!<3
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Blog: savannathomas.theworldrace.org
