As I sit to have time with the Lord, I am overwhelmed by the sounds and the beauty that surround me. Mountains more beautiful then any I have ever seen, animals roaming free, birds chirping, and people just waking up giving groggy hellos. There is dew on the ground and a fresh wetness that comes with a night rainfall.
What a dream.
But then I remember yesterday.
I remember the man that we prayed with and talked too. The man who has a disability in both his legs. The man who cares for a small boy on his own, while having trouble just getting around himself. I remember the tears I cried when I told him I saw joy in his smile and tiredness in his eyes. This man whose wife left him and took one of his sons because the money ran out. I think about the smile he smiled and tears that he cried when I told him the Lord wanted me to tell him that He loves him dearly.
When we were walking from our village to his I remember seeing the mountains and saying, “Wow God. Look at this beautiful creation. How lucky are these people to get to see it everyday.” I remember Satan trying to take that thought away, when I saw this man, and replace it with, “God are you really here? How could you let this happen? I know you are a good God… but this doesn’t show me that…”
Something my squad has been saying for a few months now is “Even If” instead of “What If”. Example, even if this man lives this way God is still good. So it’s not what if this happens, it’s even if this happens God is still good.
Yesterday I had to change it to “Even though” because this man is already living this way. I had to remember and re-adjust my heart to say even though this man is tired, God is good. Even though this mans wife left him, God is still good. Even though my heart broke for him and his situation, God is still a loving, caring God that doesn’t forget His children. I had the great opportunity to speak life into this man yesterday. I got to encourage him to ask God questions and to let God answer them. Questions like, “God where are you?” “Are you really here with me?” “Do you really see what I’m going through?”
As we were talking, the neighbor from next door came by. We had just spoken and prayed for her and her family. She came over to ask the man if she could wash any of his clothes. The walk to the creek to do laundry is about half a mile, downhill, across rocks and other treacherous terrain. I thought, “Wow God, look at this beautiful woman you made to help this man.” Just her small act of kindness showed me that I serve a God that loves his children, and He never forgets them.
My heart still aches for this man. I want to stay and help him do whatever he needs. To assist him in any way that I can. But I cannot stay. I know that. I also know that God can take care of him way better than I ever could. That God loves him way more than I ever would. And that God does not forget His children.
With love and a broken but restored heart,
sav
