I leave Thailand in 5 days…what? This trip has FLOWN BY! it’s been so good to me and Jesus.
This weeks ministry was about the same as last weeks, we taught in a school for 2 days and also participated in the radio show and rice seeds. Which is always so fun and fruitful. However, we did do one new thing…WE WENT TO A JUVENILE DETENTION CENTER AND MY HEART FELL IN LOVE WITH THE GIRLS!!!!
We went for 2 days this week from 8am-1pm and I never wanted to leave. I wish so badly we could have spent more time there during this trip. These days, Thursday and Friday were my favorite ministry days of the whole trip! By far!
To be honest, when our ministry host told us we were going to juvie, I actually got really nervous. I have never done prison/ juvie ministry so i didn’t know quite to expect. Other than what we see on tv which are people that look like they wanna kill you in their orange jumpsuits, tattoos covering their faces and just scary. Never have I ever been so happy to be proven wrong with preconceived, stereotypical eyes. I have never been the kid to get in trouble, barely ever with my mom and much less with the law, so growing up i never really hung around the people that did get juvie or even alternative school. To say the least. I was scared.
So we walk in and the first thing I notice is the gate that separates them from the outside world, like literally they can’t see outside. Which I think is in every prison but I’m not sure? So then we go inside and the girls start to come out and I then notice that some of the girls are wearing pink, while others are wearing orange. The orange shirt means the girl is newer there and is still waiting for her sentence and trial. However, the pink shirts mean that the girl has received her sentence and has been to court.
We started with simple games and get to know you activities and then moved on to learning English vocab Ike body parts, descriptive food words, directions ect.. when we first walked in I saw one girl that I felt was gonna be “my girl”. This is the girl I chose to spend my time with that day, stand alongside her to learn and be a friend….but the Lord has other plans for another teammate to stand alongside her that day. Thankfully, He knows better than me and knew I needed sweet Bly for my two days. ••••Also, there are 13 girls on my team and there were 13 girls in juvie! So a girl for each girl:)••••
I first noticed her when we split up to take a break from all the fun we were having learning English! And i don’t day that sarcastically, it was really fun! My ministry hosts are the best with coming up with fun, creative ways to learn and get people involved. She was sitting alone, her head was down and she looked like she was about to cry any second. She was wearing an orange shirt and had only been at the center for about a month. Bly is 15 years old. She was also SO STINKIN CUTE!! just so beautiful inside and out. I scooted over to her and smiled, just like I did with everyone else, but when she looked into my eyes I knew she was acctullly gonna be my girl! She immediately captured my entire heart. I don’t even know how to describe it, but my heart just leaped for this girl to be in my life. I imagine that’s what Jesus feels every time He looks at us.
We had small talk with choppy words and a language barrier, but I knew I loved her. I knew she felt lonely. I knew she missed being home. I knew she was sad, she was so sad. And I was 100% for certain that this child felt worthless from her mistake. I won’t say why she’s in, just to respect her privacy, I know you guys really can’t say anything to anyone but I just want her to have that.
We had been chatting and then we decided to be partners for the rest of the days!!:) yay Jesus! We worked on her English and I’ve never seen someone strive so hard to say the word “three” correctly. Seriously she worked hard all day. She also really likes the Cupid shuffle! And she loves to play games!! We had the greatest day together…definitely not a girl that looked dangerous like I thought they were all going to lol. I had been praying about how to handle my time with her. Do i five in deep and ask her why she’s here an ask her the hard questions? Or do I simply just be with her and love her the best i an right in this moment? And I heard Him so sweetly just tell me to softly pursue her. Don’t bombard her, just be her friend. I had also been praying that Jesus would just replace her tears with raw joy from Him and put smiles on her face all day! And HE DID YALL! And her smile was the most lively, radiant smile I’ve ever seen! She had so much fun, and i think i has more fun watching her than doing it lol.
It came time to leave and our hosts had told us to find 5 people to hug goodbye. Of course Bly was my first hug…and my only hug. A hug that lasted for at least 5 minutes. When I would try to pull away she would hug tighter, and i heard Jesus tell me to be still, just let her hug you, she needs it. I have prayed for a while that when people hug me they feel the love of Jesus hugging them. That’s just a way i want Him to be seen in me, so when she wouldn’t let go my heart immediately went to the place of clinging to goodness in painful situations. I know she felt Jesus, because I prayed for it and I know He was hugging her, not me.
I can’t imagine being 15 years old, making a mistake and being put in a juvenile detention center for no less than 3 years. Being ripped apart from my family, moved to a new city and thrown in with a bunch of girls I don’t know…and probably scared to get to know them. I mean I’d be devastated and heartbroken. I’m sure Bly and all the other girls (who are all so great, I did make rounds lol) find it extremely hard to cling to the good in a situation like that. That day we talked about finding our value in Jesus, how making a mistake doesn’t define who you are and your value, how Jesus still loves you and will never stop. Wow. Talk about clinging to some goodness? I know it’s any everyday battle for them, and having to be constantly reminded of the mistake they made can’t make it better but knowing they are treasured and loved and seen by Jesus even though they made a bad mistake can. It takes time, but it can and will.
I had already fully given what felt like every inch of my heart to Bly so when she pulled away from the hug and said “I love you” i accidentally just started bawling lol i couldn’t control it y’all!! That poor girl was wiping my tears and snot but I was crying with sadness to leave her but i was also crying with joy that Jesus put her in my life and i knew she was with her even when i can’t be. My heart was honestly breaking from leaving her, I didn’t even know my heart could love so deep so fast in the matter of 2 days. But I’m finding rest in knowing He’s always with her and every other girl in the juvie center.
Also, please really be praying for these girls. Some of them have children and were taken away, some for selling drugs, using drugs and selling their bodies to get the drugs, others took the blame for a parent or boyfriend and are now in there for years. Be praying for their transition back into the world when they get out, the transition coming in, be praying their value is tattered but made new through Jesus is using their stories.
These past two days were my most favorite days of Thailand. I have no doubt that this was the reason I was here all along. Of course Jesus waited until the last minute to tell me our reasoning for choosing Thailand.
Ps. Jesus has gifted my eyes with such beautiful scenary in the last month it’s insane also, i dont Know if you all got the memo but I’m bringing all my friends to thailand so y’all can all bathe an elephant and feel as magical as I did! Seriously a dream
