Hi friends, hi friends, HI!! That was probably the most welcoming “hi” you have ever had right? If not, tell me it is anyway! I hope everyone has had such a blessed week, I know I have!
As we all know, I Savannah like to be very honest with you all, I’m not going to hide anything or put on a facade. I am a real person who does real sinful things. I’m saying this because in the past, have looked at people who are on, or going on the mission field and thought that they don’t do anything bad and their relationship with the Lord if flawless. I know if I have had those thoughts, I’m not the only one out there who has and I feel like it’s important for people to know that is not the case at all.
My relationship with the Lord is a work in progress, every day, but I do still struggle with things. I have to make a decision to live Christ-like, we all know that can be hard when we have temptation right in our face. Luke 22:40 “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” In the book of James, which is one of my favorite teaching books in the Bible, it talks about how each person is tempted, when they are deceived by their own evil desires, when we give into these desires, it births sin. So, it’s safe to say that we are all sinners! Recently, I put myself in a situation that was very compromising, willingly…yes I did it knowing it was wrong and the whole time, telling myself how wrong it was. I fell into my own temptation, I am not proud of it, but it happened and I must deal with the reality and the consequences.
So, with dealing with these consequences came with a lot of shame, guilt, condemnation and conviction. Yay. So I’m feeling like absolute dirt at this point, I haven’t told anyone what’s going on because I’m too ashamed and I don’t want anyone to know. And I have not dared prayed, because I’m so humiliated I couldn’t bring myself to talk to God about it. After we sin, it is prime time for Satan to jump all over us. John 8:44 “You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
I’m hearing the lies that Satan is putting in my head “you don’t deserve to be on the mission field, look what you just did”, “your mom and friends are going to think you are a bad person”, “God is ashamed to call you His after what you just did”, “now your whiteness is destroyed”. And I’m literally giving into these lies, knowing that it’s an attack from the enemy. So, I finally broke down and told a friend and mentor what happened (I am expecting to be yelled at and be called names),instead she looks at me and says “just don’t forget there is grace for that.” I tell another good friend and she tells me “Christianity doesn’t call us to be perfect, God sent Jesus to die for you therefore you are saved by His grace, but that doesn’t mean we take His grace for granted. We strive to be Christ-like, but if we fall, he will pick us up. If you feel condemned then it is not the Lord you are listening to (it’s the lies of Satan) because there is no condemnation in Christ.” Conviction is from Christ, condemnation is from the enemy. These women were showing me so much grace and love just like our Heavenly Father does!
So after having a nice long talk with he Lord about this…I came to this scripture: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28. Truth. Have a great day/night everyone!
SHOUT OUT TO KRYSTEN AND KACIE!!! And Sonja for taking a slightly different approach and slapping me upside the head!
