Have you ever noticed that society puts a timeline on our lives? We are taught at an early age what’s expected of us: graduate high school, graduate college, start a career, buy a new car, get married, buy a house, get a dog, have children, later on down the road…. have grandchildren, retire and then throw in a few giggles along the way. That pretty much sums up what is expected. You see it. I know you do. There’s this pressure to complete these phases in life in order to be successful or happy or however you’ve convinced yourself that it will make you feel.
Am I saying this is bad? Heck no.
I get it. I’m a goal oriented person, but this timeline isn’t us setting a goal. This is society setting a goal for us. This is us feeling pressure to “keep up with the Jones.” It’s wanting someone to be proud of what we’ve accomplished and respect us. Now if you started your dream job right out of college, that’s awesome. If you found the love of your life at the car dealership after buying your first new car, that’s awesome. But sometimes this isn’t the case. Sometimes the flow takes a different course, and you know what (NEWS FLASH) that’s still awesome.
Samuel 16:7 talks about comparison. But the LORD said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” People judge you based on their interpretation of what they see. But God sees deeper. God hears what you really wanted to say when you were being fake. He sees our intentions—not just what we want the world to see.
This past weekend, I graduated from the University of Memphis. Some of my family and friends came into town to watch me walk across the stage and celebrate. It was a great day! I would like to tell you that I was excited months prior, but to be honest, a year ago, I would have panicked inside if a conversation about school was even brought up.
For the full story, read my “Fear and Fake Smiles” blog. Here’s the spark note version:
Around four years ago, I was about to graduate, ordered my cap and gown, invited my family and friends, and was excited to complete the next step on “the timeline.” Then, life took an unexpected turn. Both of my grandfathers (father figures) passed away a few months apart. I fell into depression, dropped out of school and refused to talk about it. I didn’t graduate, and I was ashamed of myself. I tried to pretend it didn’t happen and remained in denial.
For years, it was something that I tried to put on the backburner of my mind, but every now and then it would surface up causing stress.
I leave for the World Race this October, and after some heavy convincing from my family, I decided to go back to school and graduate before I left.
It was a weekend of celebration, but honestly even before I walked across the stage, I was anxious. I was comparing myself to everyone else’s timeline. I was beating myself up for not completing a goal, but in reality I did complete a goal, it was just at a different time than expected.
God has a plan for each of us. Is it identical? No. So why do we compare ourselves? If we’re all on different paths, why do we compete with each other? Love where God has you. We are to “Glorify God and be pleasing to Him” not glorify ourselves and be pleasing to others. God loves you. Not once you complete some goal you’ve set for yourself. He loves you right now. You are a child of the Almighty King. Chin up, buttercup. Praise God for where you are today and have faith in where He is taking you. Life is an adventure not a checklist.
Challenge for the week: Write down 10 things that you are thankful for. “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!” Ps. 107:1
Click the link: ”Gold” by Britt Nicole
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