“My real dad deserted me.
After decades of dealing with rejection and looking for his replacement, I’m no longer hoping to find a father figure. And honestly, I’m okay with that. Why?
Because God tells me in Psalm 68 that He is a Father to the fatherless.
He steps in and fills the role when our real dads can’t or won’t. He tells me He is proud. He sits with me in quiet conversation. He’s there on difficult days. He helps me through tough situations and creates opportunities for me that I never would have dreamed of on my own.
My Dad owns the cattle on a thousand hills. The heart of every king and leader in this world is in His hands. I have no fear of poverty, rejection or abandonment because I know my Dad’s got me. My Dad cleaned up the mess in my heart and healed the pain my real father left behind.
He’s a better Dad than any man walking this earth.”
From blogger Chris Brown
My dad did not desert me, but my relationship with him was distant. He was very sick my entire childhood, eventually passing away in 2008. Here’s ten things I gathered from my time with him:
.i. My opinion did not matter if it differed from his opinion
.ii. Children are to be seen, not heard; but only heard if what they say aligns with what he thinks
.iii. Crying is never okay, no matter the circumstance
.iv. Having fun or taking joy in doing an activity that he is a part of (except Uno) is unacceptable
.v. You are guaranteed to get your way if you yell loud enough and bully the other person or party
.vi. Making fun of your spouse and calling them names is okay
.vii. Forcing your children to aid you in emotionally harming your spouse is okay
.viii. If you are overweight or some race other than Caucasian you do not deserve basic human decency
.ix. If the house were on fire he would evacuate his stamp and Indian relic collection before he’d evacuate us (he’d often tell this as a joke, but I have a hard time believing he was kidding)
.x. Something is only worth doing if there is money to be gained from it.
Thank the Good Lord that none of these ever took root in my heart.
Don’t get me wrong, he had his good days. He had his good moments. For maybe 2 minutes every night I’d hug him and he’d tell me he loved me and that I was his favorite (come to find out, he told all of my sisters that, which was okay, but that small phrase boosted my self esteem growing up…every once in a while). The rest of the days were spent wandering around the house, walking on eggshells, waiting for the next thing to happen that would set him off.
I still struggle sometimes with resentment towards him. Resentment because he wasn’t the father a father should be. I look around and see everyone elses father and I’m jealous because I didn’t have that. I still don’t have that. The closest people I have to a father figure in my life are both of my uncle Johnnys. (Seriously, my uncle Johnny on my mom’s side and my uncle Johnny on my dad’s side). I’m not very close to either of them, but they are the ones I look to when I imagine what I would have liked my father to be like.
But it’s no good wishing, is it? And now, I find rest in knowing I have the perfect Papa. Who loves me and provides unending affection and adoration and kindness and encouragement in His Word. He’s all I want and all I need in a father. He may not be here physically, but ultimately, He is with me.
“For all of my fellow dads out there who are leading, loving and supporting your family, I stand on my feet and say, ‘Thank you.’
Thank you for getting in the car every day and going to work, and for coming back home at night. Thank you for getting on the floor and wrestling with your children. Thank you for tucking them in at night. Thank you for bending a knee to pray over your kids. Thank you for doing the routine and not allowing yourself to be lured away by the false promises of thrill and adventure. Thank you for staying the course.
You will unleash into our world a child who knows what it’s like to be loved—who can hold his head high and walk confidently toward a great future. You are giving your child what so many kids only dream of alone in bed at night.
You’re not just a hero to your kid. You’re a hero to our world.
Billy Graham said it best: “A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.”
For you dads who are walking it out, we say, “Thank you.” And for those of us without earthly fathers, we say, “He is a Father to the fatherless.” And a pretty good one at that!
Happy Father’s Day.”
From Blogger Chris Brown
