In life we come across things that we are terrified to do. Things that when we think about doing them we immediately feel sick to our stomach and think, "oh my goodness, I'm gonna poop my pants!"
Recently, in preparation for the World Race, I have been reminded of one of my greatest fears in life. I'm so scared of this thing that I literally feel like I will poop my pants if I really have to do it. Well the time has come, and I have to do it, I have to ask people for money. This freaks me out! I hate asking people for anything, but I REALLY hate asking people for money!!
I cannot tell you how many tears I have shed over this fear of mine! Probably more than that crazy screaming baby at Wal-Mart that you cannot escape! It's ridiculous!
So when I signed up for the Race I knew that I would have to ask people for money because there is absolutely no way that I will be able to come up with all of the necessary funds on my own before January. When I signed up I convinced myself that I can do this. I'm not asking for myself, I am asking for people to join me in taking the Gospel to eleven different countries! I convinced myself that it was gonna be all good and God was gonna take care of it!
Well now it is August 24, and my first deadline is coming up on September 29th. On that day I need $3,500.00, and I am nowhere close to that number! In fact, I don't have the slightest idea how that is going to happen! (But I am pretty excited to see God's hand working in it all!) I was talking to my mom about it and she said, "Savannah, you are just going to have to ask people. You need to call them and explain what is going on and tell them what you need."
So easy right?
**Enter the, I'm gonna poop my pants feeling…
I went throught the rest of the day with that conversation on my mind and that feeling in my stomach. This was it, I have to tell people exactly what it is that I need for this dream that God has given me to become a reality. And all day I made excuse after excuse why I couldn't do that….and then came my time with Jesus.
I started off by telling God all of my reasons why I couldn't ask people for money. I told him all about how freaked I was and that it just wasn't going to happen!
And then this little reminder popped into my head about Moses in Exodus chapters 3 and 4 when God tells Moses that He will send him to Pharaoh, to bring His people out of Egypt. After that Moses spent several verses giving some half-baked excuses, and God rebuttled everytime with an answer that could not be argued with. And then finally in Verse 4:10 Moses says "please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since You have spoked to Your servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue."
That verse really got me! You see, my whole thing is that I don't know what to say or do, or how to present what God is doing. I just don't feeli like I have the right words! And then God responds.
v. 11-12, The Lord said to him, "Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now then go, and I, even I, will be with your mouth, and teach you what you are to say."
That should have been my aha moment, but that just wasn't workin' for me! I needed more!
In the next verse Moses tells God, just send somebody else. And God does it. He picked Aaron to go and do the job that He intended for Moses. He had this magnificent plan all worked out for Moses, He was going to use Moses to set His people free from captivity, but Moses said no. I can't do that, send somebody else. Moses still got to be apart of the events that were unfolding, but not in the capacity that God intended.
And then came the aha moment…I don't want to be like Moses. I don't want to make excuse after excuse to the point that I make God so angry that He brings in somebody else to do the job that He has for me. I don't want to say no to God. I want to say, here I am, I will do whatever you want me to do. And even more importantly, I want to actually mean it!
So, no matter how many pairs of underwear I go through I will ask people to join me on this adventure to spread the Gospel to the nations until God tells me that it is enough. It will not be easy, I will probably have more tears and freak out moments, but I will do this because God called me to this, and He will give me the words.
If you are reading this and you feel that God is leading you to join me in this adventure, please listen to Him and hop on board! It's going to be insane! I have no doubt. Click the support me link and in the bar that requires the racers name put Savannah L Davis. I promise, you won't be sorry!
