“Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending
reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down
fights `til i’m found leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn’t earn it,
I don’t deserve it
still you gave yourself away”
These lyrics are being played out loud as I type this – and they are lyrics that have been played over and over again through my headphones in the past month specifically. And I am overwhelmed, in the best way.
Overwhelmed by the amount/types of places I’ve slept in in the past eleven months, (cement floors, buses, tents, planes, ferries, attics, a friend of a friend’s front yard, you name it, I have learned to sleep anywhere)
Overwhelmed by that caterpillar I ate in Zambia (never again)
Overwhelmed that all my belongings fit in one big backpack for the past eleven months (olive green tank, it’s time to retire you)
Overwhelmed that I actually drink black coffee and not sugar now (this is big news, people)
I’m overwhelmed because of all the people I was honored to meet the past eleven months.
Overwhelmed because of The Lord’s goodness woven in and through ever single detail of these past eleven months.
Overwhelmed by His Light that was brought to what was once absolute darkness
Overwhelmed by the people who got to hear the best news in the world for the first time
Overwhelmed knowing that the hardest days of the past eleven months were beyond a doubt the days I clung to The Father deeper than I have in my whole life.
Overwhelmed knowing the amount of tears that happened realizing the brokenness of the world yet also knowing the amount of tears of the joy and wholeness our Father brings in the midst of brokenness.
Overwhelmed by the miles myself and 40 of the people most dear to me traveled to to be where The Lord called us to be.
I’m overwhelmed because I am home now.
Overwhelmed because the most insane journey of my life has come to a close, yet a new one is beginning as we speak.
As I re-read that list, I could sum it all up in the most overwhelming truth that I see most evidently in these past eleven months – an overwhelming truth that never ceases to leave my heart and mind.
It’s very simple: I am overwhelmed by the reckless love of my Heavenly Father – a love that keeps chasing and chasing – A love that will not settle for ninety-nine percent of myself because He wants the whole one hundred percent of my heart. A reckless love that will never end for myself, you, and for every person I’ve met over the course of this journey.
This last month, I spent my mornings on a rooftop of the church that we were living in in the fishing village of Vung Tau, Vietnam (Yes, it smelled like fish a lot of the time, yum)
With a cup of coffee in my hand, 5 am would roll around each morning and I would climb the three flights of stairs to the root top, sit in my favorite spot, and watch light overcome darkness behind the midst of rolling hills. The sky would light up with every color imaginable and unimaginable, and one day I listened to a certain song that I mentioned at the beginning of this blog: “Reckless Love”. A song that, in one of the most beautiful ways I’ve seen put in words, describes The Lord’s deep, deep pursuit of His people.
And on this day, as I sat on this rooftop, I watched (yet, again) amazed as The Creator of this whole earth painted the sky in front of me with colors and I would hear these lyrics of His overwhelming love for the people of this earth through my headphones – And I sat there and was not able to understand any of it – I couldn’t grasp why.
“WHY DO YOU LOVE ME GOD.
I am so broken, so, so broken. We are all so broken. I have nothing to give you, God – yet you have given me everlasting life – you have given me real life and though I screw it up daily, daily you chose to never stop loving me and the people on this earth.”
Overwhelming was an understatement at this point.
And the song would continue to play in my ears:
“Before I spoke a word
You were singing over me
You have been so, so
Good to me
Before I took a breath You
breathed Your life in me
You have been so, so
Kind to me”
THESE LYRICS ARE INSANE.
And the lyrics would keep going, and the sun would keep rising as I sat there.
Isaiah 43:4 “Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you”
And as the sun would finish rising, I believe The Lord was saying something along these lines: “Savannah I will never stop chasing you, I love you because I love you because I love you”.
You guys!!!! God loves us because He loves us because He loves us !!!!
He never stops chasing, never. And there is nothing in this world that could separate us from His relentless, reckless, never-ending pursuit of our hearts. And yes, I know this truth, we know this truth, yet some days (this day in particular) this truth hit me hard.
I began to sing these lyrics knowing that my Heavenly Father has this love not just for myself, but for you, and a reckless pursuit for each person I met these past eleven months. I began to see His reckless pursuit of the faces of the people I’ve met on this journey:
I began to see His reckless pursuit of the Roma children in Romania playing in the dirt roads as we sang about how much Jesus loves us. His reckless pursuit of the woman from Bulgaria that realized truth for the first time – truth that she was saved by grace and not by works. His reckless pursuit of the homeless man telling us his life story on the streets of Macedonia. His reckless pursuit of the barefooted and joyful neighborhood children running next to me cheering me on as we ran around the dirt track in Zambia. His reckless pursuit of sweet Ethan in Namibia as I held him close in my arms watching his anger quickly turn to peace. His reckless pursuit of the international church choosing to praise our Heavenly Father even though they live in the closed country of Laos where it’s illegal to do so. His reckless pursuit of Do-Dong who brought me Lao coffee each morning on the dock. His reckless pursuit of the family we lived with in a village of Cambodia living in the scorching heat while sleeping on wooden planks outside.
I sit here and think in wonder of all these people over the past eleven months and my Heavenly Father’s beautiful pursuit of them. I am filled with absolute awe because when we chose to look closely, we see His pursuit in every person we meet (and in ourselves.) And although we are no longer physically present with these people I’ve met, His pursuit is still ever so present within them.
He loves us because He loves us because He loves us.
And that love will continue to eternity, and as we walk in the midst of a broken world, that is a constant and consistent love that we can cling tightly to wherever we may be.
I am home and overwhelmed, but in the best way.
I am home (where Chick-fil-A resides) and cannot wait to see each of you and share stories and hear how The Lord has loved you and those around you these past eleven months. I’m excited just thinking about hearing your stories. Thank you for praying, giving and loving me halfway across the world. You are all wonderful and words will never fully express how much I want to type thank you a hundred times and more on this blog but it still wouldn’t be close to enough.
Just know I love each of you.
11 months, 13 countries.
Here’s to all the new beginnings that are to come. Life is good, people, life is very good.
Love you all,
Xoxo, Sav
