A few days ago, my team and I were sharing parts of our false self and there were many things I realized I still cling to that the Lord speaks against. One of the things I have found myself falling into while on the field living in community is not being good enough and not having anything really valuable to bring to my team. This doubt and comparison began back at training camp when we first got into our teams. I’m quick to compare myself and the gifts God has specifically given me with the spiritual gifts that others possess. When I was sick, I questioned if it even made a difference that I was gone. I wondered if anyone even noticed. I wondered if I even had any special gifts or talents.
Each week we have feedback with our team. It’s a time to celebrate the awesome things that have been observed and also call each other higher to the things we haven’t reached our full potential with. I have a tendency to fall back into this part of my false self if I don’t receive any feedback because it makes me feel like I’m making no difference or that my actions are going unnoticed. Totally in vein because it is not a performance but rather how we are representing Christ and which parts are still of our flesh.
This week however, all parts of that false self were rebuked and I was reminded of my true identity in Christ. Chhady, the woman who takes care of everything in our home and someone I’ve grown very close to while in Cambodia, randomly spoke out, “You are so loved Savanah”. She spoke about how she enjoys being with me, how I am welcoming, how I humble myself and love other people well. For anyone who knows Chhady, she speaks straight from her mind and is as honest as it gets, so I knew she was speaking truth. A few other teammates chimed in with encouraging words, telling me how loved I am by my team and how it just wasn’t the same without me when I was sick. They spoke truth against all the lies that the enemy was getting me to believe.
My squad leader, Taylor, gave me a word at training camp that the Lord spoke to her about me before she even met me. That word was Cherished. At the time I found no meaning in that word, but I now know the weight of that word. I am so loved by the Father. And cherished. And seen. And known. And wanted. And so much more. And the enemy has NO place here. I’m thankful for the Holy Spirit and His way of showing me reassurance and love through other people without them even knowing the weight of their words.
If you feel anything that you know is not your true identity, speak it out. Seek out the truth.The cool thing is that each of us are so loved and cherished by the Lord; no one more than the other. Comparison is a liar and we must realize that we weren’t meant to be created with the same abilities or relationship with Jesus. You are Cherished.
