I sat on rocks tonight.

Well, we never ended up sitting but I thought it would be a good title.
 
There is a ministry here in Waco called Vertical that meets every Monday night and has blessed hundreds of students who wouldn’t normally go to a formal church setting with hearing the Word of the Lord. The gathering has been held several places but is currently in the backyard of our local hipster coffee shop, Common Grounds. The “yard” (of rocks) is cleared of the comfy tables and chairs to accommodate more people and there are couches along the outside. I went with some friends tonight and we tried to get there early because I was making a deal about having to sit on the rocks instead of the comfy couches. We didn’t get there early enough and I was faced with the fact of sitting on the hard pointy rocks during the sermon.
 
This seems trivial. VERY trivial. But, in a way very relevant in my life right now. I shouldn’t always expect comfort when in reality I am in a blessed situation to be able to worship my God freely right next to the La Quinta and Pizza Hut, where shouts of joy can be heard from the other side of the interstate, and the regular Joe trying to study inside the coffee shop feels God’s presence for the first time ever.
 
Coincidentally, my friend, Thomas Johnson, posted this link to facebook tonight about kids’ sleeping conditions around the world. http://listverse.com/2012/12/03/10-images-of-where-children-sleep-around-the-world/ Okay, God, I hear you! One of the things I’ve been thinking about is having to sleep in a hammock or on a sleeping mat for 11 months, and how much I love my cloud of a mattress. I am BLESSED to be able to take my sleeping pad and sleeping bag with me for 11 months. While I see these accommodations as “rocks,” I am sleeping in the lap of luxury compared to most of these children. It's amazing to me how God uses anything and everything to break chains holding me back and to help me fight Satan's thoughts that he maliciously plants in my head.

By committing to the race, I have agreed to give up my comfort. I will be sitting on rocks for 11 months. No comfort from my family on holidays, no comfort from running embraces from my sister, no comfort from being engulfed in my little brother's hugs, no comfort from my friends who have experienced everything with me since kindergarten, no comfort from "save the dates" and wedding parties, no comfort from my crockpot or waffle maker, no comfort from my abundance of pillows or down comforter, no comfort from my hot shower and ample supply or toilet paper, and no comfort from my favorite comedy or classic movie. 

However, I realized tonight a little better than before that I don't need any of that. I have the comfort of Jesus Christ. It's okay that I have developed this ridiculous fear regarding the race and that I have a severe feeling of inadequacy because I have the best comfort anyone could ever desire. While I may lose sight of this on a day-to-day basis and prolong my time in bed in the morning to get in extra time, I am blessed with friends who remind me that it is my brokenness and fear that brings me closer to my comforter.