Trusting God in his silence (month 4&5)
Many times in life we all come to that place.
That place where God wants us to make a choice.
Will we either choose to press in and overcome or choose to back slide?
Month 4 In Swaziland was the start of this process.
See what’s funny is I thought when I came on the world race I was getting away from my problems.
But the truth is it doesn’t matter if your home or traveling country to country. That crossroad will
Still come up, and it will
still find you.
Finally, month 4 it hit me. I couldn’t hide the pain anymore.
The pain of my brokenness of these past years.
The Lord brought me out of the “comforts” of my life, so that he could open my eyes.
Open my eyes that it’s not just all about me and my brokenness.
God decided in month 4 that he would be silent with me. I just started being a team leader, and I literally didn’t hear him all month! I was so angry at him for being silent in a month I really needed him. But now I see what he was doing.
He brought me to a crossroad and said, “Sareece will you choose me even when you don’t know what the future may hold? Will you choose to give up control and allow me to use you as my vessel? Will you stop running, and say yes to the process? Will you allow me to love you the way I want to love you? Let go daughter.”
And so I said yes.
At the end of Swaziland, I saw,because God was silent, I had to keep pushing and fighting. I had to keep seeking him. It proved to me that God tests us sometimes to see if we will fight in order to be near him. It showed me how much I want JESUS and how much I need him.
He used me so much in Swaziland! The team I led told me how much I had helped them grow, and they felt so encouraged and loved the whole month. The orphan girl I was encouraging all month wrote me a letter and told me how much I impacted her life and how much she loved me. The boy at baby house we went to said I showed him the love of Jesus by just loving him.
Seriously? I did this even though I felt so lost all month and thought I wasn’t making a difference! God proved to me if we trust him and “let go” he will use us in other people’s lives even if we don’t see it!
Month 5 in Mozambique was the same! The Lord put another all girls team under me to lead.
And he took me into a season of trusting him completely!
I felt like I was in a funk the beginning of the month, but I kept my promise of “letting go and trusting” and God showed up crazy this month!
We saw over 40 people get saved! I saw orphans getting loved on by my team and me. We went door to door and prayed for families who seriously have nothing and trust in the lord completely! We were part of a church body who came together and worship Jesus in a building that’s a roof and some cement. We were part of a ministry that has nothing but has everything!
The other day my squad leader took me aside and said, “Sareece you are so different than you were 5 months ago. When I look into your eyes, there used to be hurt and brokenness and now there is so much love and hope!”
God took me out of my comforts so I could see how blessed I truly am. He took me away so I could learn even in the darkest of times there is hope, love, and joy! If we keep trusting JESUS even when we can’t see what’s coming there is always hope! There is always a reason to rejoice! He used me this month in ways I never knew could be possible. He has changed me in ways I didn’t know I could change.
Each month God is transforming me into the woman of God he has called me to be. He is taking my brokenness and turning it into joy!
See I thought I would go on the world race and change people’s lives, and that has been part of it. But the truth is these people are changing not only my life but changing me!
We all come to crossroads in our lives. We all go through seasons of not hearing and seeing God, and then we go through seasons of hearing him a lot. Life is crazy, but what I am seeing is life is so beautiful! And so much goodness can come from letting go and allowing God to use you to his fullest!
If you allow God to change you, he will. But it takes a process and it takes trusting him day after day, even when it’s scary and you can’t see what he is doing.
In one week we leave to go onto month 6 in “Riga, Latvia,” and I am so exited to see how he is going to use me and my team! And see how much more he will use me to change not only others lives but my life as well!
Remember I am still fundraising as well! July 1st is my last deadline and I need 4,000 more dollars! Please step out in faith and donate! You are partnering with me and what the Holy Spirit is doing in me on this race! And helping to spread the kingdom! Please step out in faith keep following me!
God bless,
Sareece
