Month 2 in Nepal, I had two squad mates tell me something that started me on a journey that would change my thinking.
They asked, “Have you ever thought about not wearing makeup?”
I said, “No, I can’t.”
When I was asked why, I responded, “Because I don’t feel comfortable. I have acne, imperfections, and my makeup helps hide that.”
This very sentence followed me into my next month. The first week of South Africa my squad leader asked me, “Sareece, you’re so beautiful. Why do you put so much makeup on?”
My response was the same.
Later on that week, the Lord started working in my heart. I began to ask myself, “Why do I feel like I need so much makeup? Why don’t I feel beautiful and comfortable in my own skin?”
Well, God took me deeper. I started praying about this, and God revealed to me that it was root problem. Makeup was my identity. I was very insecure of the imperfections on my face and thought I could hide them behind makeup.
An even deeper issue is that I wanted to look like the “flawless” women I saw in so many magazines, and makeup, I believed, made me that way. I thought that is the only way a man would love me and that my friends would like me more when I looked “done up”.
I began to believe the lie that I wasn’t beautiful without makeup, and it only got worse. Before leaving on the World Race, I wouldn’t let anyone see me without it, because I felt ugly. I would wait until the very last moment at night to wash my makeup off and get up early in the morning to put my “face on”.
However, I was hiding my brokenness in an image I thought was the “perfect” look. I thought this perfect look will make me happy, but guess what, it never did! I was still hurting and still unhappy.
So, in South Africa, I made a huge shift in my life. I stopped wearing makeup! Since then, I am learning that beauty is what God gave me naturally, and all my little imperfections make me unique and set apart. They make me Sareece, and no layer of cover-up or mascara will change that. At the end of the day, they are still there, and I am still Sareece.
Am I perfect? No. Do I have the perfect look? No, but I do have joy. Joy knowing I am loved with or without makeup. We are truly beautiful when we embrace who we are, and when we try and change that, were saying his creation wasn’t good enough.
Girls we are loved! Men we are loved! The little things we call imperfection, Jesus calls unique qualities. Qualities only I have, and qualities only I can share. He made us all different for a reason. It is time we start embracing the qualities and uniqueness of ourselves and others and see ourselves the way God sees us.
Ever since I gave up makeup, I have felt so many chains break, and Jesus is able to work with me in so many different ways. It is not easy, and some days, I still go through insecurities. However, I am able to shutdown the devil’s thinking and partner with my Father’s thinking.
How God views me is more important than how anyone else views me. He says I am beautiful, so I am beautiful. He says I have no flaw in his eyes, so in him I am flawless.
It has been a process, but the process is so good. I am able to look women straight in their eyes and tell them they are beautiful. I can tell them how I was living that same lie for over 21 years of my life, and since laying that down, I have never been more full or happy.
I am beautiful, set apart, and bold because my Father has called me to be, and that’s the calling I choose to embrace. Makeup does not have a hold over me anymore, and I will not use it to hide. I am God’s daughter, beautiful the way I am, and that’s all that matters at the end of the day.
So if you’re struggling with feeling insecure, I challenge you. Go a few days with your hair in a bun and no makeup on. You would be surprised about how many people will either not notice or say “wow, you look so beautiful.”
Do not allow the enemy to rob you any longer, embrace who you are, and do not let anything stop you.
I still need to raise $2,272. My FINAL deadline is in three days, and I would appreciate your help in keeping me on the journey God has set before me.
Also, check out my other blogs.
God Bless,
Sareece Heitmann
2015 World Race – Q Squad
