*This blog started as an angry-venting journal entry. As I wrote it, I felt myself become more and more aware of all the positive things that canceled out the negatives.*
I am ready to be home.
I am tired of seeing the same people every day. I am tired of never really being alone. I am tired of eating things that feel like they take my energy instead of give it to me. I am tired of being dirty all the time. I am tired of not getting good sleep at night. I am tired of feeling like I have to put a smile on my face and love everyone. I am tired of not having good contact with my family at home. I am tired of listening to the same music. I am SO tired of the infinite amount of bugs. I am tired of hating how I look. I am tired of hand washing my clothes. I am tired of singing the same songs over and over again in children’s classes at school. I am tired of communication struggles because of language barriers. I am tired of phone calls that get cut way too short because of bad connections. I am tired of always feeling obligated to write blogs. I am tired of being taught about entitlement, complacency, and apathy. I am tired of being told to stay present. I am tired.
But,
I am going to miss these people that have shared the last 8 months with me. I am going to miss eating curry and rice everyday, because, honestly, I really love curry and rice. I am going to miss not worrying about how I look. I am going to miss sleeping under the stars that make me wonder why I could ever question the existence of my God. I am going to miss insane travel days, because out of them come insane travel stories. I really am going to miss the simple life. I am going to miss a space where I can express my heart and people will understand. I am going to miss the culture. I am going to miss the laughter. I am going to miss the beauty. I am going to miss seeing Jesus everywhere and in everyone. I am going to miss the people I have met. I am going to miss sweet conversations with locals. I am going to miss seeing Jesus work despite the language barrier. I am going to miss living with people who really know me and understand me. I am going to miss this.
