This phrase perfectly sums up the past few months of decisions because a) it is exactly the kind of back and forth self-doubt that filled my head and b) well, we usually say it when deep down we already know what we want to do.
Let’s start with a)
I first heard about the World Race by blogs like these and posts from a friend I followed on Instagram (thanks Lauren!!). To say the least, the stories of the people and places she served had me hooked. As I researched it more, I read testimonies and experiences from other racers and became even more infatuated. I applied for colleges with my heart set on studying nursing (it still is) but, the idea of taking a gap year and being immersed into new cultures to serve others kept coming back to me. Along with these urges were crazy amounts of doubt. I doubted being capable of handling nine months on my own (open to advice on this one), I doubted my ability to connect with other racers, raise enough money, etc. I had days of excitement and anticipation followed by days of feeling incredibly insufficient.
This brings me to b)
In the midst of my doubt, one thing remained the same: I knew I wanted to go on the race. I wanted to take a leap of faith and trust that the Lord would catch me. And I knew that He would. When I started weighing all the positives and negatives, the majority of the negatives could be traced back to fear. I do have plenty of concerns but I am also not ready to let those be the only things holding me back from such a rare and life-changing experience. To me, this kingdom calling was one that I could not pass up. So, I applied, I was accepted, and a day later I committed!
. . . and here we are! Since committing, I have felt so much peace. I definitely still have my days (as do my parents, love you guys tho), but ultimately I find my comfort in His promises, the Word and anticipation of the good things in store for this year!
As September 8th gets closer, I could be using all kinds of help; whether it be giving financially or offering prayer and words of encouragement, I’d love your support on this adventure!
*side note* I will be posting updates here throughout my trip, if you want to follow along feel free to subscribe for notifications or ask questions in the comments below (or give me a call)!
