~Psalms 139:16~
“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”
As much as I’d love to say I have given it all up to God, there are definitely things I hang onto and fool myself into thinking I can handle better.
I go and hear wonderful sermons on how liberating it is to be completely dependent on Him and trusting that he’ll take care of me, and I go home resolving to do better. But the second it’s not a conscious effort, I return to my old routine of panicking over things that are (more often than not) out of my control.
Why is that?
The Lord makes it so clear throughout the entire Bible that he will show up for us when we least expect him to, and when we most need him to. He shows up for David and helps him beat a man five times his size, protects Daniel through a night in a lions den, feeds the 5000, liberates the Israelites after 430 years of oppression in Egypt . . . it’s kind of how every story in the bible ends.
But the best part? He wasn’t just playing favorites. Each of the mentioned people were all imperfect (like ourselves) and had let God down time and time again. They had their doubts, their mistakes, their moments of panic over trivial things, but every time God would meet them where they were. He heard their cries no matter how small or how massive and would value them anyway.
And he does the same for us. Every day. Sometimes, it’s not as obvious as dividing a sea or walking on water or defeating a giant- but He is always at work. It may look like the speeding ticket you didn’t receive when you should have gotten three already, it may look like the lyrics that resonated with you from some song on a radio station you never listen to, or even the words of encouragement from a friend that were somehow exactly what you needed to hear in that moment. We cannot sit and wait for obvious signs because 1) that is far too limiting and 2) this will block out all the other opportunities and signs He tries to show us. If we don’t keep our eyes peeled for these little blessings, God will never feel reliable and we will undoubtedly feel neglected.
God longs to be with us at our best and at our worst, yet for me, He is all too often the last person I resort to (and that’s usually at 2am when I’ve exhausted all other options). Far too much of my time is spent worrying over things that he saw coming before I was even born and, honestly, don’t surprise him because he’s already got my life itinerary all mapped out. I’ve come to realize that understanding His love removes the need for our anxiety.
. . .and cool side note/god sighting: one of the things I was struggling relying on the Lord for as I drafted this blog was fundraising, and since I began writing this blog and praying about it, I have well over doubled the existing funds I had- God is good!
~ Matthew 6:26-34 ~
“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
