I was in the van, surrounded by my squad, when I finally realized that I needed to stop ignoring my body and tell someone that it was time to go to the hospital. I turned to Cal who was sitting next to me and said through clenched teeth, “I’m actually not okay.”
If you know me you know that Sara + Hospitals = panic and meltdowns. I know, I’m twenty-one years old, old enough to not have silly fears and worries, but this is different. It’s not necessarily the hospital that scares me, but what lies within hospitals, and dentists, and doctor offices; needles.
I wish I could tell you that when I got my shots for the World Race that I held it all together just fine, but even with my mom holding my hand, and even after the needle didn’t even hurt that bad, my body could not fight it – I passed out. Fainting has always been my body’s response to panic or discomfort, I have over thirty fainting stories to prove that. It’s gotten to the point where I know my body well enough to lay down and tell the people around me not to panic before passing out, and I always wake up a few minutes later, exhausted, but fine.
So, a few days ago when I started to feel gross, I decided to wait it out and fight the sick; I did not want to go to the hospital. I knew they’d want to draw blood and do tests, and fainting really hurts, it isn’t a pleasant experience, and I foolishly waited too long.
This morning when I couldn’t hide it anymore, I realized I needed to go to the hospital, and I broke into tears in front of the whole squad. I’ve tried avoiding the hospital before – last month I wound up with parasites and needed to be treated for those, and I hadn’t any intentions on going through that again, but there I was, sweaty, dizzy, miserable and resigned to the fact that I needed to go.
It’s the end of the day, and finally, the hospital visit is behind me. I only needed to have a finger pricked, and I didn’t even get slightly dizzy. The diagnosis? Malaria.
West Africa: 1, Sara: 0
Catching Malaria is not what I imagined I’d be doing in Ghana. In fact, I was so sure that I would be invincible to it. I’ve perfectly followed my doctor’s instructions and taken my Malerone each week. I hardly even got any bug bites, and yet here I am.
I laid down in the van on the way home from the hospital, drugs in my hand and completely exhausted – physically and emotionally, and my teammate Joey turned around from the front and smiled at me encouragingly. I think I meant to complain but what came out of my mouth instead was “I guess this is worth it.” And then I realized that I meant it. The fever, the exhaustion and the stupid body aches that come with Malaria are nothin’ compared to an eternity separated from God. Isn’t that why I came on the race? To tell people that they have hope in Jesus?
Yesterday my teammate Katy May and I got to pray with a man to accept Jesus as his Savior after sitting with him for an hour and telling him about Jesus, and he’s going to start coming to church. Even if I came to Ghana just for that one guy, this whole thing is worth it! I’m going to be fine, I have medicine and a bed to sleep in, and fresh water to drink, so no problem! I get to tell people that they don’t have to live a hopeless life. I get to tell people that they’re free from the bondage of “good deeds” and “karma.” They don’t have to go through any steps or say the right words, they just need Jesus. That’s why I’m here!
It’s becoming more and more clear to me that my Squad scares the devil. We’ve had 20 out of the 58 of us with confirmed cases of Malaria, and more with other parasites and infections, yet every single day we’ve got dozens of our squad walking the streets, proclaiming TRUTH to people! People that not only are welcoming, but ready to LISTEN! Of course Satan’s gonna throw darts at us, we’re ruining his plans! So, even though I’m excited to feel better, every pin prick, body ache and silly head ache I have on this race is worth it, because Jesus loves these people and wants them to come home.
I appreciate your prayers, you all mean so much to me, and there is so much power in praying! I’m hoping for a speedy recovery so I can be back in action as soon as possible, but I also have faith that God’s got this and total peace. I’ve got movies on my laptop and teammates who love me so well. God is good, all the time.
It’s a good life.
