I’m home.
As many of you may know, I’ve actually been home a little over two weeks. My public response to being back has been a bit delayed, for more than one reason, but delayed none the less.
I’ve purposefully tried to lay low and fly under the radar for a bit. Transitioning has been more challenging than I thought prior to coming home. In my mind, spending the last four months of my race in Eastern Europe was going to have taken care of alot of my transition. What a young bean sprout I was.
If I’m honest, I walked into a not so ideal transitioning environment. There are alot of circumstances going on in my family. I’ll spare you the details, but these circumstances are really heavy, broken, messy, and overwhelming. During my first week back I would find myself standing still, crying, because that’s the only reaction I could seem to muster up.
I felt like I was living in slow motion and everyone around me was moving at normal to hyper speed. I still feel like that some days.
If I shared with you what is overwhelming or anxiety inducing, you wouldn’t be able to understand. That’s okay. I don’t hold that expectation over you.
But what I would ask is that you allow me to be honest with you when I am overwhelmed. When you stop me in the grocery store and I feel like I can’t move, allow me to tell you I would love to talk, but that another time would be better.
When you see me around, please don’t ask me to tell you everything. I’ve lived a whole year since I’ve seen you, and it can’t be summed up in a passing conversation.
Please do ask me direct questions. I want to share with you, I really do. Direct questions help me focus my response and you will end up getting more of what you actually want from me.
With that being said, invite me over. I want to have coffee or a meal with you. I want relational conversations with you. I want to be intentional about how I share this year that means so much to me.
I want the Lord to encourage you by the stories I’m able to share. This impact this year made didn’t end when I landed back in the United States. I believe the testimonies of what the Lord did around the world and in me will continue to impact both believers and non for the rest of my life.
There are ways you can help support me in this transition time. Pray for me. Pray steadfastness over my heart and grace as I interact with others. Pray for my family as we maneuver many challenges right now. Reach out to me. I am so thankful for the encouragement. I am behind on responding to so many messages. If I haven’t responded to you yet, know that I love you, appreciate you, and will do so as I can. Be gracious with me when you don’t understand. I will do things, say things, and probably end up crying along the way and you will have no idea why, it’s okay, you don’t have to know or understand. Oh, and coffee. Always coffee.
I spent time prior to coming home surrendering expectations I was placing on you. Sometimes I will try to take those back in my hands, forgive me when I do. I would ask that you spend time surrendering any expectations you’re holding over me as well. Expectations you may not even realize you have. It’s so crazy when we sit and meditate on that how often we live by expectation without even realizing it.
Lastly, thank you for the ways you have walked with me throughout this year. I am so thankful.
P.S.
I have some exciting news for what’s next that I will be sharing with you soon!
