But I still don’t understand how you can bless them so abundantly, I said to God. They’re not living according to your standard—they don’t even make an effort! Where is the pursuit of holiness? Where is the righteousness? I’ve done nothing but strive to live according to your standard until I’m exhausted with the effort, and you bless them instead?
You’re the older brother, God said.
From the prodigal son parable. Yikes.
Most people know the first part of the parable, where the younger brother comes to his dad and says, “Hey, Dad, you’re better off to me dead. So could I have my inheritance now, please?” (I’m paraphrasing, here. If you want this is Bible-speak, check out Luke 15:11-32.)
Astonishingly, the dad is like, “Sure,” even though he probably should have been super offended and refused. So the younger brother goes off to Vegas and blows all his money, but then there’s a famine in Nevada and he realizes he’s being an idiot and slinks homes with his tail between his legs. My father can afford servants, he thinks. Maybe I can go back and be one of them. At least I’ll get food.
But then, in the upset of the century, the father doesn’t say a single disparaging thing about his son’s actions, and instead welcomes him back home with full rights and restores him to honor in the house like nothing happened.
Okay, cool. Everyone knows that part of the story. But there’s another part that often gets overlooked. You see, the younger son has an older brother, who’s been home all along. When he hears about this party, he gets really mad.
“What the heck, Dad?” he says (again, paraphrasing), “I’ve been here the whole time helping you and doing everything you want, and you’ve never once thrown me any kind of party. But when this person who’s rejected, humiliated, and disobeyed you in every way comes trotting home, you act like nothing’s wrong and give him everything he could ever want!”
So yeah. I’m the older brother.
Right about when I had started to feel really bad for myself, though, I felt God say to me, Yes, but do you remember the father’s response?
I totally didn’t. So I went and looked it up.
“My son,” the father said, “you are always with me, and everything I have is yours…”(Luke 15:31)
You are always with me. Everything I have is yours.
Yes Lord, I thought. But you never give me anything.
You do not have because you do not ask.*
Instead of focusing on how much other people get, instead I should focus on understanding what it means that everything God has is mine. When was the last time I asked for even a small blessing from my father?
It’s a critical perspective shift. Instead of looking on the ‘younger brothers’ of the world with contempt, instead I want to rest so secure in my position as a princess that when my younger brother (or sister) comes home to the Lord, I am just as joyful as my father. I want to ditch the attitude of “doing” for the Lord and instead focus on “being”, knowing that everything flows from a relationship with Him (Jn 15:5).
Moreover, so long as I continue to focus on doing, I will remain in a works-based mindset, denying myself the joys and pleasures at his right hand (Ps 16:11) because I’m convinced I haven’t done enough to deserve them. Like the Older Brother, my eyes will become so clouded by bitterness that I will blame God for giving his blessing to others while simultaneously refusing to accept, see, or ask for His blessings in my own life.
In short, I will sabotage my own joy.
Will God give me everything I ask? Of course not!** We are spiritual children, and everyone knows how dangerous it is to give a child everything they want. Not getting things helps us grow up—in reality and in our faith. But just because God might not give me everything I want doesn’t mean I shouldn’t ask. It just means that when I ask, I should ask with right motives, (James 4:2b-3) and be willing to accept discipline (aka, a “No”) from the Lord. After all, he disciplines those he loves. (Ref needed)
As I was recently reminded, Meghan Markle doesn’t have to announce her royal status to anyone—they already know. The second she married Harry, she became a princess. Likewise, the second I trusted in Jesus to save me, I became a princess of the Kingdom of God (fun fact, the name Sarah literally means princess). My father is the Most-High King, and He will give me what I need to work as His ambassador. More than that, He will give me good gifts because He loves me.
All I need to do is ask… unlike the older brother.
<— Back to “We Ditched Our Ministry” Continue to “Realization 3: Stinkin’ Thinkin’” —>
*James 4:2b
**The verse that says, “Whatever you ask for in my name, you will receive” (Jn 14:13-14) was spoken to the disciples in the context of ministry & faith. Jesus is by no means saying that he will give his kids whatever little thing they want. We cannot see the consequences of our actions like God can. We don’t know how the things we ask for (or refuse to give up) will harm us. It comes down to a question of trust. Do we trust that God is working for our good (Rom 8:28)? I believe this is at least part of what “child-like faith” means: children don’t doubt that their parents are working for their good, even when things happen to upset them.
