At the beginning of the Race I was given a key with the word BE. Since month 1 God has attached something to the word BE. This month he asked me to BE Joyful. My first thought was great I’ve got this! Within a few days I was so confused how to be joyful with the news I had received.
The Father is leading me into a season of growth that sometimes feels like a lonely process. We have processed through a lot of inner healing and restoration of how He sees me. Somethings I had to search deep for because I suppressed the entire emotional connection in hopes it would be forgotten. Down memory lane I had to give myself permission to grieve the emotions I suppressed and be happy in the process. I have outgrown environmengs, habits, insecurities, labels, and people I thought I couldn’t live without. I’m not the one to blame for that because God restored those to be key pieces for my testimony. Every day I’m growing and sometimes it takes my breakdown to reach the breakthrough God has for me.
I had to let go of the picture of what I thought life would be like and learn to find joy in the story God is creating for me. It took a lot of courage, strength, and sacrifice to be vulnerable, but in it there’s a great joy and security. I had the choice to wonder what I would gain or lose by putting myself our there. I simply gave my rawest self on the off chance that I would look back and see a community offer their hand in return. Their love saw me when I life got hard. Their love saw me, a sister in christ drowning from my hurts. They saw fit to call out how God is using me for his kingdom.
My past deserves a hug, helping hand, invitation, and encouragement. We’re all struggling and need to give more Jesus to the world. People took time to just love and pray for me. Instead of shaming me. They didn’t shine light when it felt good or was convenient. They loved me at my least. Kindness matters. God matters. I matter. They matter. So I love them.
Our creator satisfies everything our hearts may need. He comes in waves, waves I can’t explain. Everytime he walks in the room I’m with him and he satisfies my heart. I never leave empty because I’m full of his never ending spirit and overflowing blessings.
