Ever since I came home from Training Camp and told everyone I wasn’t going on the Race just yet, I’ve gotten a ton of Facebook messages, texts, emails, and carrier pigeons (okay, just kidding about the pigeons… but that would be cool) from my squadmates, friends from college, and a handful of people from other places/parts of my life.
My love languages are supposedly quality time and words of affirmation, so the fact that so many people have taken the time to write a quick note to me (usually without asking too many questions, which I appreciate) it makes me feel, well, loved. There are usually a few themes in these messages, which makes sense based on the situation – general encouragement, stating that God has plans for me, and other things along that vein.
There was a point where I thought to myself “If one more person quotes Ecclesiastes at me, I’m going to scream,” but I’ve decided to embrace it. Because no matter how many times it’s been repeated to the point it almost sounds cliche, there is a time for everything. Right now it feels more like a time to weep and mourn than it does to laugh or dance, but according to this scripture, these feelings are valid, and knowing that certainly helps.
The one thing that kept appearing in the notes that surprised me the first few times I saw it: people kept telling me how “inspiring” I was to them. That kind of took me by surprise, because of all the things I’ve done, all of the experiences I’ve had, training camp seems like the least inspiring thing in the world – in my opinion, if I were really inspiring, I would have been able to finish out training camp despite my setbacks, right?
I gave it some thought, which I’ve had a lot of time to do over the past few days… and then I remembered something. Before coming to training camp, everyone had to fill out a few surveys about interests, experiences, and a few things that I think were about team/squad leading. Anyway, one of the questions on the survey, which I had a hard time answering, was something about passion or a life goal… honestly I can’t remember what it was but something like that. I had no idea what to put down at first, but before hitting the end button I typed “to empower and inspire people.”
So I guess I kind of asked for it – be careful what you wish for, (and this wasn’t the last time I’d said something that foreshadowed something Race-related, but that’s another story for another day). There’s another takeaway from this:
The people who actually do the inspiring, willingly or not, don’t really get to choose how they do it. Even a motivational speaker has no idea what words or points will resound with someone in the audience, just as my story is seen differently by everyone.
Still, it didn’t come as too much consolation that what was a huge disappointment on my part is something inspiring to others. But then I realized that there were pieces to my story that I could take away – breaking down my walls, stepping out of my comfort zone, being vulnerable and open with 40 people I had just met, among many others – that made my experience at Training Camp worth it, that caused me to grow, and gave me confirmation that my abbreviated time there wasn’t complete bust. And someday, when I return to the Race, if that’s where God wants me to be, I will have a great story to tell.
As long as we’re talking about inspiring people, here are a few I look to as I proceed with this next, unfamiliar season of my life.
I have a friend from college named Mark Zoccali, who loves the country of Guatemala with every fiber of his being. The guy didn’t even speak Spanish the first time he went there, but that didn’t matter because after that, he did everything he could to learn the language and get back to Guatemala as often as he could, spending seven months there over the course of a few years. It was his dream to move there permanently after graduating from college last year, but no doors opened up whatsoever. While I know this was devastating to him, Mark continued on with his life, got a great job working in admissions at our school, and never lost his love for the people of Guatemala even though he couldn’t be there when he wanted to. What’s Mark doing these days? This afternoon, his plane landed in Guatemala City, where he’ll be working with a non-profit called More Than Compassion for the next two years! He never gave up on his dream to move to Guatemala, and there he is.
And on the World Race side of things: on the first day of training camp, I met Haleigh Moore, a fellow I Squad member. She had actually been to training camp before, and started the Race last July. Unfortunately, she had a medical emergency and had to be sent home during her third month on the field, leaving her squad and her race behind. But she recovered, and is now launching in September for the second time. At training camp, I never would have guessed that she had already been there if she hadn’t outright told us so – she handled herself with grace and humility, and never once came across as egotistical or a know-it-all. Haleigh, if you’re reading this, your experience gives me hope than if/when I go back to training camp and the race, I won’t feel out of place – you fit right in with your new squad and so will I.
(This is the I Squad – please be praying for them as they spend their last month in the US and of course when they launch in September. I’ll be following along with their journeys and I hope you will too!)
