I’ve never really been much of a “silver linings” person – for one reason or another my brain prefers the worst-case scenario over the sunny side of a situation.
Luckily for me, I have friends who care enough to help me when I get bogged down in this negativity, and when that happens they often tell me to do one thing.
Make a list.
The content varies, but there always seems to be a list assigned to me. When I was feeling inadequate on a missions trip to Guatemala, it was “write down every small victory you have.” When I was freaking out about graduating from college, it was “make a list of ten things you’re thankful for right now.” When I was in Guatemala (again) and wanted to give up on language school and come home, it was “write down something you learned every day.”
At first I would kind of resent it, because my friends were basically giving me homework and since I respected them I obviously had to do it… but as it went on I realized it helped. Being able to see my thoughts in front of me helped me process what was going on, and kept me from missing the good things in the midst of it all.
(Thank you Carrie, Erin, and Jacqui for making me write these lists. You guys get me.)
Over the last seven months I’ve had a lot of time to think about the race, and there came a point where I realized I needed to give up wondering what it would be like if I had been able to leave, and focus on the race as it stands now. So without further ado, here’s another list: the hidden blessings in postponing the race.
-I’ll be in better financial shape before I leave.
I was lucky enough to land a full-time job in October when I came back from my trip to Guatemala. It’s a temp position, but the assignment lasts until I leave in July. With a good pay rate, consistent hours, and opportunities for overtime, I can save enough money to pay my student loans while I’m on the race. This means I won’t have to defer for an extra year and rack up more interest. I’ll also have expenses on the race covered, as well as something to fall back on when I come home and the job search begins again.
-I know for sure that I really want to go
World Race routes are posted eleven months before launch (how appropriate), so if an upcoming racer applies as early as they possibly can, they will have at most eleven months before they leave. I’ll have eighteen. After a year and a half of preparing for the race, there will be no doubt in my mind that this is what I want to do. A few months ago I honestly thought that I was going to quit – I had no desire to go on the race anymore and seriously considered calling AIM and giving up.
-I’m living at home this year
This one is a blessing or a curse depending on how you spin it… I never wanted to move back home after college, and my plan was to stay until I left for the race last September and move out as soon as I could when I returned. When the logistics of my race changed, it forced my hand to stay at home for an extra year. I wasn’t thrilled with this, and even looked into the possibility of moving to Rochester for the year. But being at home has allowed me to spend more time with my family, repair some relationships there, and not have to worry about rent while I pay off my student loans.
-I have the chance to build/maintain relationships in Rochester and at my church.
Before my first training camp, I was splitting my Sundays between my home church and the one I went to in college. After I was sent home and was going to have more time before going on the race, I decided that I needed to be rooted somewhere. I chose to stay at my church in Rochester, Calvary Assembly. This means driving an hour each way every Sunday just to get to church, but it’s worth it. I got plugged in with the young adult small group, the worship team, and I recently became a member of the church. I love it there and I’m grateful to have more time there before I leave for an extended period of time.
