Swaziland. That country has had a grip on my heart since our first day there about eight months ago. I remember sitting on a rock and staring awestruck at the layers upon layers of mountains that seemed too beautiful to be real. From that moment on I was enraptured by every second spent there.
Swaziland is running out of time. A large percentage of the population was wiped out by the AIDS pandemic, leaving behind a generation of children and the grandparents raising them. Now these children are growing up lost and without guidance. The economy is in shambles, and the government is one of the few absolute monarchies left in the world. It’s speculated that Swaziland has less than 50 years left before the nation crumbles.
It was less than a month after leaving when I started to notice the lingering pull on my heartstrings towards this country. As my squad prepared to leave Africa, we spent a night in prayer for the three countries we’d spent time in. Towards the beginning my mind immediately landed on Swaziland and didn’t leave it.
It still hasn’t. It’s been ten months. Ten. Since the moment I knew Swaziland had special meaning to me. Within the last few months I began praying about the possibility of returning, a little unsure about what that looked like. Perhaps it meant working with the Adventures in Missions base there. Perhaps it meant financially supporting missions organizations. Perhaps it meant starting a new non-profit. I had no idea what the specifics entailed, but I kept praying that God would give me a way to continue serving in or with Swaziland.
And then He told me this:
“I have already given you Swaziland. Even if you never set foot there again, you are part of it forever. I have given you love, I have given you passion, and I have given you a way to intercede on their behalf. Use it. Do it. Appeal to me for them. You will be heard. I have not forgotten them.”
Whoa. All this time I had been thinking about the future, when in reality there was no need to wait. A part of me stayed in Swazi when I left, and there was no reason not to start now, even though all I can do is pray.
So I decided that there were two things I needed to set straight. The first is that I would not make Swaziland an idol. Yes, God has given me this love, this passion, and possibly a dream of going back, but my focus and adoration needs to be on Him and Him alone. The second is that I will not let myself have a savior complex. I am no one’s savior, least of all Swaziland’s. They do not need me to rescue them. Jesus is the only one who fulfills that role. We all need him to rescue us. Americans, Europeans, Africans, Asians, the true equalizer is Christ.
I may go back to Swaziland. I might not. But I trust in God’s plan, and I want to seek his will and seek his presence, wherever that ends up leading me.
