Hey everyone,
I cannot thank you enough for all the support you have shown me as I begin to prepare to embark on my mission trip. Your generosity is greatly appreciated, and I cannot begin to thank you all. I have received many questions by several people asking how I knew I was being called or why I wanted to go on this trip, reading these questions I realized I never told you all why this is something so important to me and wanted to address any questions. As much as I would like to say God clearly told me this is something I should do, it came more as a constant quite whisper. To some, a mission trip might not be the most ideal life choice, especially, as I am working to afford pursuing a college degree. Though looking at where I am in life, this to me feels like the best possible thing I could be doing. I don’t have a set plan on what I want to do for a living, but I have gained a better understanding of what I want to do. Ever since high school, something never settled right; I felt as though what I was passionate about was not something that could be taught in the classroom. Though, during this time, I pushed these feelings aside assuming a wider variety of classes offered in college would help. Coming to college I shortly realized I felt the same way. As some of you may know I declared three majors: Psychology, Criminal Justice and Public and Nonprofit Administration. This isn’t even allowed at Grand Valley without meeting with the academic advisors. Though when they announced I could declare my third major something did not settle right. I was not excited even though this is something I worked hard for. Through prayer, God provided me a friend who helped me realize I knew deep down I was unsure about what I wanted to do for a living, I had some idea but I was too scared to admit it out loud, and I was secretly trying to explore every other possible area of interest first. For psychology, I love learning about the subject and mental health is something I am passionate about, I knew it was not a career field I could not see myself in. As for Criminal Justice, growing up a daughter to a lawyer, learning about the justice system came naturally to me though I knew it was once again a career field I could never see myself in. Lastly, public and nonprofit administration was something I never even heard of until coming to Grand Valley. The concept of the classes interested me, but I had to be honest with myself that I did not even fully understand what the major even entailed. I was finding my purpose in what in what I was majoring in rather than the God who created me. He called me loved before I was even formed in my mother’s womb, nothing I could do would ever change that. I began to see that my purpose was in serving God where ever He called me. After a long conversation with a friend of mine, I was pushed to the realization I did have some understanding of what I wanted to do I was just afraid to admit it to myself and I shouldn’t hide it any longer. For a while, I considered going into either missionary or ministry work, but I pushed these feelings aside. I was scared to admit this because I truly enjoy the comforts of living in the states and am unsure whether or not I wanted to spend my life as a missionary. Additionally, I knew one day I would hope to raise a family. Though it is possible to be a missionary and to raise a family, I knew I wanted to provide my family with the best and I knew the states offered a level of safety and freedom other counties could not. Lastly, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to sacrifice so much. I have friends and family who don’t truly understand surrendering one’s life over to Christ and worried I would lose them. I also was unsure whether or not I wanted to pursue a job that was so financially uncertain. My parents have two very financially stable jobs, though they always stressed for us to pursue our dreams, living comfortably was a standard I wanted to live up to. Though as soon as I finally admitted I wanted to go into missionary or ministry work I could not get it out of my mind. Ever since a young age, I had this desire to want to make a difference in the world and to help as many people as I possibly could. Something in me always desired to help others to the best of my ability. Though I felt as though it was foolish to think one person could make a difference in the world and even if it were possible, I would not be that person. It was not until I went to a camp in Canada, called Me to We Take Action Camp, with a friend of mine did I begin to see things differently. It was here at this camp I realized I had a true passion for wanting to make a global impact. Being at the Me to We Take Action Camp was the first time I was surrounded by a community of like-minded individuals. We stayed up late talking about all of the injustices going on around the world and creating action plans in order to make a difference. When I was at this camp, I realized changing the world did not have to be a one-person job, but rather a job designed for a community of individuals. Through my struggles with anxiety and depression, I realized a lot of that stemmed from feeling as though I was not doing enough, and I was just not enough. Though growing in my faith this past year has only grown my desires to make a difference in the world. Now I know even if I am not ready, God will equip me with whatever is to come. For a while, I wholeheartedly wished to be passionate about what a typical college student would be, but I realized you cannot really choose what you’re passionate about, your passions in a sense choose you for God places the desires on your heart. As of now, I don’t plan on becoming a missionary because I feel as though my place is in the states, but I recently have been considering working for a nonprofit missionary organization. I still plan on double majoring in public and nonprofit administration and psychology, I don’t know how but I know God plans on using these degrees someway somehow. Please continue to keep me in your prayers and let me know how I can be praying for you. Once again, I cannot thank you guys for your continual support without your guys’ help this would not be possible. I appreciate the concerns some of you messaged me about. Please feel free to contact me with any more I would happily love to address them.
With love,
Sarah Kullen
