These first months of fundraising have been extremely crazy for me. I have felt so many emotions I think I may have broken a record. I have filled myself with fear, doubt, confusion, and I lost focus on what’s important, but I have also been so overjoyed by all of the support and love I have gotten so far from this journey. It has been an awesome reminder of just how great people are. (Like I said, it’s been crazy)
I have tried to write a blog for the longest time, but I could not figure out what to write about. I currently can’t keep up with life let alone write about it. Something happened tonight though and I knew from the second it happened, I needed to write about it.
I decided to take a study break and go for a drive. As I was driving, I was listening to Pandora and the song “multiplied” was on. I wasn’t paying much attention though because I was too busy crying. I found myself praying out loud over and over again “Jesus help me” “I don’t know what I am doing” “Jesus help me.” I was crying, and praying, and singing along to the song all at the same time. It was in the middle of the song when all of a sudden, it changed. I didn’t touch my phone or the radio, it did it all on its own. I don’t know if I am going crazy or if it was God, but the song it changed to was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. It was the song “Thy will be done,” and when I tell you every single word related to me and my situation, I mean it. from the lyrics:
“I’m so confused
I know I heard you loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here”
to
“I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store
I know you hear me
I know you see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Good news you have in store”
It all hit right at the heart.
I believe that was all Jesus, he is so awesome like that. I sang my heart out to that song and I felt a wave of peace come over me. He is telling me that he’s got this and to l e t G o d s w i l l b e d o n e
