August 11th, 2018
Update!
After two flights with a lengthy layover, my squad arrived in the Dominican Republic for our all squad month, where we live and do ministry all together. This month we have been incredibly blessed with our ministry hosts. They are such a loving family and have lots of great work for us to do.
Due to illnesses, we have not been able to start with certain ministries in the community and with their church plants. We are learning that ministry sometimes doesn’t look like ministry. But as God is teaching us this lesson, we grateful for the opportunity to be able to help serve our hosts around their property, which has been a beautiful blessing.
While the squad is learning lessons, God has been teaching me something different.
The last couple of days, and maybe weeks, I have felt pretty blank when it came to God. Like there was this huge block that was distancing Him and I. I didn’t understand what it was and I continued to pray about it and talk to God even though I honestly felt like it was going no where – kind of like how you let a balloon go and it just floats off but you know it pops or deflates somewhere but never reaches a destination. I started to feel like I didn’t want to participate in anything spiritual that my squad was doing because I felt almost like an outsider in the group. Here I am surrounded by these amazing people who are following Jesus and who have a great connection with Him, and there I was feeling the opposite. But after continual conversations with God and my team, I realized that while I felt like that, it wasn’t true. When you walk out your relationship with Jesus, you’re gonna have silent periods where you feel distant. This was one of mine. I knew the world race would bring me struggles with God because while we are serving others and sharing Jesus’ sweet name, this process immensely grows your personal relationship with Him. I just never thought it would happen month one, pretty much day one. But here I am.
Living in community with other Christians is a blessing because you can lean on each other is a much different way. You help each other out and have faith to carry each other through hard times. I prayed with a squad mate and she prayed asking for God to quickly teach me what He wanted me to learn during this time. I didn’t really think about it as a thing God was trying to use to teach me, my mind went to something different.
I woke up this morning and had quiet time with the Lord and He confirmed the lesson He was trying to teach me: to be faithful in the quiet. Many times back at home I have gone through times of “distance” with God but instead of pressing into them, I would make myself busy with the things of my life until something would bring me back into that closeness with Jesus. And those things never fixed it.
Even though this is a hard (and honestly slightly frustrating at times) lesson to learn, I’m thankful that God has opened my eyes to seeing what He is doing in me. This year is going to be difficult in many ways but this very important lesson is in God’s timing. This is one of many lessons but such a good and important lesson to learn.
Please continue to pray for me and my squad as we minister to the DR. God is getting ready to move mountains over here and I’m so excited.
