Okay, so first things first.
Dear future racers: One of the biggest/ best things you can do for training camp is to let God happen. This is the week that you will find God talking to you in so many forms. God will tell you some pretty great things and reveal to you truths about who you are and this time in your life.
Now back to the program. My experience at training camp was far from perfect or great. To be honest, it was a really difficult 10 days for me. The first day, I cried to my self for at least two hours before going to sleep. I texted a handful of people letting them know I couldn’t do it. I even went as far as to text my dad asking for him to get me home. I was so close to dropping everything I had hoped for in God’s plan for me. I was once so excited for the Race, more importantly to be the hands and feet of God. But all in that one overwhelming first day I was going to drop everything and turn my back on what God had for me.
This wasn’t the first piece of doubt I’ve had with the World Race. Over the 9 months leading up to training camp, little doubts pop into my head. Logistics, comments, etc came out of one mouth and circled in my brain. I mull over everything, most of the time to access. -Like a great deal of my time is spent thinking about dumb things and having anxiety over past situations that no one else is thinking about or future things that might not happen.- So the more I would think about it, the more I doubted my ability to do the world race. (Hint: I can’t do the World Race — at least not alone).
So arriving at training camp I hadn’t thought about things because I pushed them off and avoided the details, so I also had no expectations.
(Again, future racers: a tip in my opinion: think about the details and what worries you may have. Work it out. Don’t avoid any bit of the race. It’s part of preparation for this spiritual battle).
So there I was scared and overwhelmed. Introverted more than normal, I think I said about 5 things the first day.
But God shows up in the little things. Here’s how: (and it’s actually really cool)
I prayed from the beginning of camp, what was my purpose being there. I will admit it was a selfish prayer at first because I was looking for any answer to get out of doing the World Race because of anxiety and self doubt. But God remained constant. He gave me an answer one day during a session. I flipped through my note book and found a sermon from Steven Furtick that I had taken notes on. The gist of it is that we will talk ourselves out of the big adventures that God has planned for us because we are too scared to leave our comfort zone. We would rather keep our life small enough to fit into our comfort zone and own personal interests. It’s easy to talk ourselves out of something, but that means we can also talk ourselves into something great. (I know, life changing right?!)
So here I am sitting in the middle of the room surrounded by people and it felt like it was just me and God. I can’t say it was an audible voice from God but it definitely was God talking to me. I just sat there for a moment. After a while I was like “Okay God, this is what You have for me. This is what we are doing.” And in that moment I laid it in God’s hands, realizing that I can’t do this mission trip on my own.
Later that day I was struggling again with being at training camp and figuring out what my next move would be. So instead of asking God why I was there, I talked to Him about why I was struggling so much still. There was a humbling answer tied to that question that left me in awe of His goodness and answer. I understood that my path with God had fallen away from where it once was, but I could see how that got me to where I was.
So over the rest of the week there were so many other affirmations from God, my leaders, and my squad that this is where I am supposed to be. So here I am, jumping head first into the battle and into all that God has for me in this next year.
I am thankful for training camp in that it provided a space for me to be silenced and God to amplified. It’s where MY quiet yes (more like alright), turned into OUR yes.
Dear future racers and or warriors, lovers, followers of Christ, you can’t do this alone. You can’t even do it with your family and friends back home [and your squad family]. They will be helpful, but you have to have God on your side. Let your yes be His YES.
