Preparing for the World Race there are things you do. Things like pack, mentally prepare for events you know you’ll miss and ones you don’t know – especially deaths, and other great things like hang out with friends and family, and read the Bible. You mentally prepare yourself as best as possible for things your missing and to look forward to all of the amazing things to come.
But no one talks about death on the world race. Like the real, difficult, heart hurting death of a friend within the country and ministry you’re a part of.
No one talks about how to handle what happens when you grow close to someone in the foreign country that suddenly feels like home, and the person feels like a part of you and your family. It gets overlooked in the mass of information you need to prepare for the race.
When you’re on the race, these countries and their people groups touch your heart in places and ways you didn’t know were possible. You learn quickly that this world that was once strange and unfamiliar, becomes a place where homes doesn’t seem far away. Home is where you are and the people you’re with. You realize you have an affinity for that country, those people, it becomes special and dear to your heart. So when death happens, it hurts. It brings you back to reality that this is not a fairy tale. These people are real, and you actually love them, not because they’re cardboard pop ups in the story book for the month, but because they’re real and they have a place in your heart that only a random person you never thought you’d meet, but God did, could have. (Side note – I swear there is a specific space in your heart for people in foreign countries that you meet. It’s hard to articulate, but when you leave home and go visit a foreign country and meet its people, live with them, talking to them to get to know them, they stay in this place in your heart that God has made specifically for them.)
So how do you grieve? How does a foreigner grieve the loss of a local friend they just met? How do you respect the family/friends and their culture and their grieving process. Is there a difference? Do we differ in what’s acceptable in grieving?
It’s difficult, but the answer to all of these questions is love. It’s why we are here. We are to love on people. So that’s what we are to do, continuously love with the immense love of God.
My ministry team met a family the very first day we arrived at our ministry in Zambia. This family quickly became so much of our heart here. Every single time we’ve walked past the house they would make sure to say hi. We have spent beautiful hours in the short couple of days of ministry we’ve had getting to know them and share Jesus with each other, every time there was so much joy. Sunday we received news that one of the family members, one of our friends, passed away pretty suddenly. It’s hard to articulate what it felt like receiving this news. My heart hurt for the family and especially her daughter that I had just gotten closer to. But my heart also hurt for the loss of such a sweet and inviting soul.
I’ve learned that despite some bigger cultural differences in grieving the loss of a loved one, the biggest common denominator is love. You still show love to the family in any way you can. You still let them know you care and are supporting them.
Life is short and if we aren’t loving others, what are we doing?
