I’m one month into this trip and it’s so crazy to think. There’s so many good things about this trip I wish I could tell you about them all. But, there’s also some hard things. I don’t bring this up to be negative or to dwell on the bad things, I’m bringing this to light so that we all see what’s really happening.
Every day we go to different schools in the community to feed lugaw to the children during recess. It’s their responsibility to bring a container to eat from. Some children bring small cups for themselves, others bring massive pitchers to fill up for their siblings or their families. Some kids don’t eat at all because they don’t have anything to hold the lugaw. Depending on the size of the school, we bring one or two plastic containers about half full of lugaw. (these containers are big enough that I could fit in one of them, just a size reference) Some days we have a little extra lugaw to give out. Some days we have just enough to get by. Some days, we run out. There are times my teammates have prayed for this food to multiply because we have too many kids left to feed, but eventually it does run out. And that’s a hard face to look at.
I’ve caught myself choosing not to scoop food. Instead, I go play with the kids during this time because it’s hard to face the reality that there is injustice in this world. It’s hard to face the reality that there are hungry bellies here. It’s hard to face the reality that some children wait for our time at the school to eat again. Sometimes we have kids running back in line for a second and third cup of lugaw. We have kids pushing and forcing their way to the front just to get the little bit of food we have. My heart breaks for these kids everytime I see them standing to the side watching other kids eat. It physically hurts my heart to think that we don’t have enough. I had a hard time trying to understand why God doesn’t just fix these situations, but I also understand that these kinds of things are not of the Lord. These things break my heart because they break His, and that’s something He wants from me. He wants me to have those emotions because without them I can’t fight for His goodness.
This takes me back to why I’m here. I’m here to share the love that Jesus has for us all. Whether it’s a smile to the shy kids, playing tag in the blazing sun, or feeding one hungry kid, I’m doing what God asked of me. I’m saying ‘yes’ to the GOOD things, the things that are of the Lord. He is fixing the issue by using our team to fight these injustices here in the Philippines. It’s hard to understand something so unfair. We’re used to going into our kitchen and having a multitude of snacks to chose from. We’re used to going out when we’re hungry and occasionally treating ourselves to a nice dinner. But on the flip side, some of these kids are only used to knowing that at least one day of the week they will get fed. The other days are unknown and that’s hard to accept.
Even in these hard times of ministry, I still love being here and learning more and more about each of these sweet little kids. Their smiles and hugs keep me encouraged. Ministry can be fun and games, but it can also be a hard truth. I’m grateful for both. I’m grateful that they always want me to go down the slide first, but I’m also grateful that I’m here to see the challenging circumstances and to shed light on this injustice. To all of you who have supported me on this trip and have been following along, I want you to know that you are shedding a light on this darkness as well. You’re feeding a hungry child. You’ve sent them lots of hugs and high fives. You’re loving them the way the Lord has commanded you. I thank you for that love the Lord put in your heart because it encourages me daily. Thanks for your prayers and HAPPY ONE MONTH!!
