Hey hey hey, so as some of you know I just got back from training camp for the World Race on Saturday! And for those of you that didn’t know, I am excited to say that I did exactly that! Training Camp was held in Gainesville, GA from June 8-18th. Training Camp is supposed to give those of us that are going on the trip a taste of what our next nine months will look like. It also was a chance for us to be pushed physically, emotionally, and spiritually so God can start revealing what all he wants to do in us. I will go into more depth of this later on but first I was to introduce you to my squad that I will be taking this journey with and then my team that I will be living and doing ministry with in Albania after the squad splits up! PS my team’s name is “The Edge”
Training camp was not something I was crazy excited about, instead most of the time before I was there I was terrified of it and what it would bring, but fear is not from God, and as I was driving to training camp God filled me with his joy and his peace! I knew my life would never be the same after pulling into the camp but I didn’t know why or what that would entail.
Physically I was pushed by letting go of the normal earthly things that I consider necessities but are really luxuries. This included a room or a bed… that’s right I slept in a two person tent or an eno for 10 days straight. I lived out of a backpack and had to re-wear clothes over those 10 days. I didn’t have a normal shower instead I was given a bucket of cold water and a scoop. And I didn’t have my own food instead I was given a plate and told to share with 7 other people around me for every single meal. And I was told to pack up all my belongings almost every single morning before having to go workout.
Emotionally I was pushed by being forced to look back on my past and concentrate on how I view not only God but myself in the core of my being. I was constantly surrounded by people and lost all privacy that is easy to find or have in typical life. I was told to trust these people I didn’t know with every part of me, and I was told to let down any and all walls that I may have built up over the years. I was told to leave behind my fake identity that many of you all wouldn’t even know was fake and was told to start chasing after who I truly am, and who I am called to believe, and to believe that it was right.
Spiritually I was pushed to trust God in ways I never have before. I was told to actually listen to him when I pray and believe the songs I was singing and to believe what he says about me. And to let him open me up and break me. I was told to let myself believe I was forgiven for things and to trust him when I needed to forgive others. I was told to go to him to break soul ties and to go to him with all of me even the darkest deepest parts. And I was told to let his holy spirit breathe life into me.
But at some point at training camp all of these things were no longer what I was being told but what I was seeking after. I found a contentment in this hard but simple life that was being put in front of me to embrace for the next 10 days and I complained at points but I loved every moment of it. It turned into the best week of my life so far and I think most of this has to do with the community that was being created by God in all of us. For me this community of people showed me that who I am at my core is loved and cherished. And God started using them to not only show me that there is more to life than what I have been living but there is more of him that I have never been aware of.
One of the first things God showed me spiritually was how important forgiveness is. I was given an analogy of people hanging up like coats in a coat closet and how I had to take each person I hadn’t forgiven down and take them out to not only free up them but myself. I did this to all of the faces I saw in my coat closet, but then there was another door that lead to a coat closet with only one face in it. I couldn’t even open up the door to this person. I was paralyzed and yet I felt God telling me I needed to, but I couldn’t. Time doesn’t heal the past and with this I realized that. So I went to one of my leaders and she prayed for me and I felt a wave rush over me and a peace grab me and I felt all my hurt towards this person, all my hatred, all of it lifted up. I’ve felt free ever sense, I felt the power of prayer for the first time in that moment. From that moment on I knew God had me and he continued to show up in crazy ways during the week.
Another thing he did was break this view of myself that I wasn’t good enough, beautiful enough, pure enough, or deserving of this opportunity and I had been struggling with that image in my head all week and then this leader came up to me and said God gave him something to tell me. He told me he saw a pearl and God was saying I was the pearl, I was the one. He is creating me and it is a long hard journey, but he is turning me into who I’m supposed to be and becoming more beautiful as he continues to work. I was shocked with amazement that God gave someone the image and words that I exactly needed to hear. Again the power of prayer and how God reveals what he wants us to know just shocked me but it spoke life into me.
Later on in the week I also realized that one of the reasons I don’t always hear or always see the holy spirit is because if he is in a bottle and is supposed to be pouring out I put a top on him out of fear. I was challenged to stand up with others and release that top. The speaker was praying and I had my hands out wanting to give it up and praying that I would, praying that I would let walls come down and as the man said “holy spirit come upon them” my body tingled from my toes to my head and I felt this crazy peace and joy wash over me and engulf me and it continued to cover me. Then a leader came and breathed on me and prayed that the spirit would breathe life into me, and take me over, and that I would release all that I held him captive by. As he was doing all this I felt a version of myself that was full of fear and discouragement and everything that held me away from God lifted up and out of me and again a wave of peace and joy fill me completely. It was the weirdest thing I have ever felt and I don’t know how to describe it other than it was holy. I felt God. I felt him in me.
Chasing after him will never be easy but to know that I have started on the journey of leaving myself behind in hopes to become more like him is so exciting. I grew up never thinking I could ever be chosen to have such a relationship with him because of who I was and that lie grew in me as I got older and this past week it was broken through all the truths the Lord speaks and him speaking directly into me.
I am a child of God. I am pure. I am beautiful. I was made by him and for him. My identity is as his lovely darling daughter, and I have been redeemed.
Overall it was the best thing I ever could have asked for. I love all of the people and I love how real our God is. I would gladly live in a tent for a longer period of time with these people if it means figuring out what real life with God is… and that’s exactly what I will get in 6 weeks!
I hope this helped you understand the past week I have had. Training camp is hard to process and put in words but I tried the best I could. If you have any questions or want to talk please let me know! Also if you want to see more pictures from training camp I have an album of pictures on facebook you are more than welcome to check out!
with love,
Sarah Catherine
