Everyone is on their own journey trying to figure out what it is that they are suppose to do or what their purpose is, and if you’re someone who’s figured that out all ready you’re probably on the path of trying to live that purpose out. So did you read the fine print of that calling? Because I forgot to when I signed up and committed to the World Race. I forgot about it until it was too late and I was in the situation and had to refocus.
So do you know what fine print I’m talking about yet? Probably not, so here it is… the devil. Yup, that’s the fine print. You see when you are doing something that God wants and something that threatens the Devil’s work he will attack and he will put things in your way to try and rip you of your joy and your focus of whatever you’re doing. He will try and manipulate you. He is very real and so is spiritual warfare. And he doesn’t mess with people who don’t threaten him. So if you’re going after God’s calling for your life, you best believe he will show up.
You see, I knew that yet I forgot about it. So when I had friends that after four years of friendship and in certain cases basically my whole life I was shocked and confused that they no longer wanted to be my friends. I don’t know why, and I might never understand the full extent of why but that didn’t matter. So I was stuck in what felt like a situation where I was all alone, because you see now I don’t have friends at school or that I am around on a regular basis. I have always been someone with lots of friends. I’m not saying that in any way of bragging, that’s just how its always been. And now here I am senior year with one in Sumter, just one friend.
My view of this situation wasn’t clear at first, I hated these girls for not giving me a reason, I hated that I no longer felt like a good person or a good friend, I hated that there was nothing I could do to control the situation or change it, I hated that after all these years my senior year right before I left would be the worst one I have ever had, and I hated HATED them for doing this. That was all I was doing and focusing on. After I sat there crying asking God why, he told me that he was trying to teach me something. So I started praying and trying to figure out what God was trying to teach me and to forgive me for hating them, and change my heart to love them. Because being bitter and focusing on the negatives is too hard, plus I was falling into the trap of doing exactly what the Devil wanted this situation to be and that wasn’t cool and didn’t need to happen. I was mad for a while even though I was trying not to be, cause it was hard. But prayers are pretty powerful and since having asked for prayers for the situation from family, and my friend, and my lovely world race team, things have turned around. No the girls are not my friends now and the issue is still there, but I have learned from the situation and will continue to.
One of the things that I had brought to my attention by God was I forget who and what this is all for. When I say that I do not put myself at a position of insignificance for God at all times. “I want to choose the place of my own sacrifice. And I want to have certain people watching me and saying, ‘Well Done’.” (from a devotional)
I forget that I have to be willing to be nothing for God’s glory. I forget that I have to say I’m okay with being totally forgotten and nothing, so that God is at the forefront. And this situation is pretty humbling and has allowed me time to think about that. I am not important for who I am and what I do, but for how God is using me. No I have not mastered this AT ALL, but this area that I need to work on has been put in front of me by God and he’s like, “hey, remember this? I need you to do this.”
The second thing I am learning is how not to go to people first. When things get hard our instinct, for me at least, is to run to my close friends and seek help or just to get it off of my chest. But that isn’t how its meant to be. We are suppose to run to God. He is our father but also the ultimate friend who can help in ways that people in our lives can’t. It feels weird for me to go straight to God for things, because I’m not used to it and there’s just something about sitting with a friend talking. But as I have, in a good way, been “forced” to go straight to God I have better been able to understand why it is how it’s suppose to be.
This hasn’t been easy and I forgot that the Devil would attack me where it hurts, but God is the divine controller of all things and he is still in control of even the Devil’s attacks. I found that very comforting when someone told me that over the past couple weeks because that meant that I was suppose to go through this for a reason, and that God wanted to mold me more into who I am suppose to be in him. So, I have not fully gotten through this “test” if you will and there will be more, but for now I am thankful to be learning through it and have such a great God to rely on. Please don’t forget that fine print. If you do sometimes it is harder to gain a focus of what you’re going through and why. The fine print is there for a reason and it will happen if you’re following God’s plan for you, it is just a matter of time.
Thank you all who have had me in your prayers, I wish you all the best of luck with your own journeys and your own attacks. But take it as a blessing in disguise, because the Devil doesn’t mess with those who aren’t doing anything for God’s glory.
P.S. girls who I was talking about, if you happened to read this…I still love you. You may not have been aware of all of this, but I hope that you grow from this as well. I wish ya’ll the best of luck in all your adventures this next year. And if we happen to be friends again later on, great! and if not, thanks for all the good memories over the years. YTB YGG
