So I know it has been a while, and I’m so sorry for that! I have thought about posting many blogs since the last, but for some reason have never felt strong enough about any idea I have gotten. So I have decided to just write this one, and let God move it as need be. I mean why not? He’s the one who has lead me to this journey, I may as well let him just use my fingers to type a message he wants not only you but me to hear as well. So lets see where this takes us…
That title in itself “Lets see where this takes us”… how many times do we say this in our life with decisions we make? I know I personally have on many different occasions said lets just see what happens, or play it by ear. I think this is fine to do, I don’t think life should be something that is always planned out or is always on a schedule. But I think for me sometimes this phrase is something that is easy to get stuck in. When I say this I mean when you are just crusing through life doing things as they happen how easy is it to not be intentional about things you’re doing? I think pretty easy. Now maybe you have some sort of balance figured out, but if you’re anything like me you don’t think about the balance of that and therefore don’t really have one. But I think there’s an important balance. Being too scheduled can leave you putting your day into time slots and God probably as well. Being too unscheduled can leave you letting all things kinda just float around meaning you probably don’t specifically carve out time to sit in silence with God. So what next?
Well, to those who put everything into a box, you have probably gotten very used to this lifestyle by now. But take a minute and ask yourself if you have put even yourself into a box. Have you lost your self in your scheduled life and rutine of life that you see your self defined by what you do, who your around, and maybe even what you think about yourself? I personally did this before without even realizing it. I have felt unworthy and unequipped for this journey ever since it was placed on my heart. Though I am all those things, God doesn’t chose the equipped and the worthy, he makes the unworthy worthy, and he equips the unequipped. And he will mold not only me but you into the person he wants us to be… but he cant if we don’t allow him to take us out from the mold and box that we think we are fit for.
Those of you who are super unscheduled, you as well have probably gotten very used to this type of lifestyle. You are probably used to just kinda doing what you want when you want or when you have free time. So you ask yourself how much of that time do you use doing something productive vs doing something that is like I said just whatever you want to do? Yes, sometimes productive things are what you want to do, but you know what I mean. How often is your extra time spent just relaxing? This isn’t always a bad thing, but do you find yourself slipping into the habits of nothing? When we are so unscheduled it is easy to forget about the important things we need to be doing outside of the things we have to do such as school and work. We or for me I know I have forgotten about spending genuine time with my family or even with God for that matter. And sometimes I forget to take time to myself and not be surrounded by others. I think it is easy to forget things when you aren’t worried about them, and I believe that is something that happens when someone is so prone to not worrying about things. For me this happened when I started forgetting who I was being. I knew who I wanted to be, but that’s different than who you are and I wasn’t focusing on the type of sister, daughter, and friend I was being. When this happened I started failing in all of those areas because it doesn’t take effort to stray from something, it takes effort to go towards something and I had forgotten to fight for who I wanted to become.
You see I know we all have problems and most of those problems are bigger than ourselves, but sometimes those problems are ourselves. Losing who we actually are to circumstances, or limiting who we think we can become because of the cards we were given. For me personally it blows my mind to think of the person I was two years ago and how God is planning to use me within the next couple months, but it doesn’t surprise him. I have times where I forget that my God has built who he wants me to be and I stand in my own way too many times because of how I schedulize or don’t schedulize my life. I let different things of the world become my agenda because it is easy to and then I realize I was working my calender all wrong. I know I will continue to do so over the rest of my life, but maybe just think about it and see where you are personally. I say this because I’m hard headed and I had to get completely brought to my knees and have all of my darkest secrets put out on a table so I would see who I believe I will be isn’t as great as God is planning to make me and that I had allowed myself to think I was someone who I wasn’t because my actions didn’t agree. I feel like I will spend the rest of my life chasing not only after God but the woman he desires me to be for his glory, and sometimes I will need that to be refocused by him because I can’t always see that person.
One of my friends told me once that we each have a song with a unique tune and words molded specifically for us. We sing our song everyday of our life as we live it out, but sometimes we forget that song. Then in those instances we need the people that love us to sing our song for us and help us remember who we are and who we are suppose to be. The last couple months I have had to rely on those around me to sing my song for me because I lost it for a little bit. So take this as me singing your song for you if you’re needing me to remind you of who you’re suppose to be.
Also here’s a little song that one of my teammates sent in the group message one time that I listened to on repeat during the time I was needing others to sing for me.
with love, Sarah Catherine
