WELCOME everyone who may stumble upon this; this is my very first blog! – The first of many! A place where I will be sharing my stories and adventures throughout this nine-month journey. I will do my best to be as authentic and real with you as I can.
” you’re doing what???” ” FOR NINE MONTHS??” ” ARE YOU cRaZy”
Yes. I am. I am going on a Gap Year. [I’ll be going to Thailand, Malaysia , Costa Rica and Ecuador] I’ve spent a year wrestling with self and God. The Lord had placed this on my heart a year before I graduated. I remember telling people about the world race and how it was only a dream and yeah maybe one day ill get around to it but what I wasn’t telling them is that I felt unworthy to go. I struggled with the thought ” how can someone like me who is young and filled with sin go out and spread the gospel and love” This sin had over taken my heart creating these negative thoughts of not being good enough in it. I ended up in a spiritual desert because of these feelings. I asked God to clean my heart and rid these things that weren’t from him. God used that desert time to speak wisdom into my heart to speak the truth of my identity in him. God wanted to replace this deception of the lies with the truth.He wants the truth about who I really am in Him to sink into the deepest parts of my identity and this truth is there already.God has made me, and you, as good. He already loves us. This revelation ROCKED MY WORLD. My identity was not found in me but in him.
[psalms 51:6You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.]
With this new wisdom in my heart, I knew I wanted to share this and of course the world race came up again and again. It took me a while to fill out my application because I struggled with the thought of being too young to spread the gospel. I came across a story in Jeremiah 1. I believe that The lord used this scripture in my calling to the world race.
The word of God aka the Holy Spirit came to Jeremiah saying
I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born.I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah replies to the lord by telling him what I had believed in myself. ” I do not know how to speak; I am too young” the Lord replied to Jeremiah telling him not to say such things and that he must GO to everyone he had sent him and say whatever it is that he commanded. Now, this here is what reassured me. The Lord then began to reach out his hand and touch Jeremiah and said: “I have put my words in your mouth, get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you do not be afraid.” I love this little story so much, and I love how the lord used it to answer my worry and put it into his perspective. The Lord has called, and I have responded.
The Lord is teaching me new things every day, and I’m excited and hopeful for the journey that He has set out for me. I’m choosing to trust Him through it all.
if you took the time to read all of this, thank you so much! I would love if you’d join me on my journey. I’ll be in need of lots of prayers! i’ll be in need of donations as well both of these things mean the world to me I believe when the Lord calls he provides! Thanks again for taking the time to read this!!
– with love
