Oh how my soul longs to sing You a new song, but what word can embody all You are? You are ineffable and the human language cannot contain all You are. We have created words to describe Your character and Your heart. Holy, Awesome, Majestic, Wonderful, Bride-Groom, Jehovah Rapha, Healer, Comforter, Love, Agape, Humble, Selfless, Kind, Passionate, Adoring, Omniscient, Omnipresent, all powerful (omnipotent), Creator, Potter, Vine, Source, Giver, Father, Brother, Helper, Lighthouse, God Most High, You ARE the Great I AM because God You are everything. Everything sweet, true, pure, joyful, loving, righteous, good, kind. Thank You Father for all You have blessed me with, all You have given me. But more than that — You LONG to spend time with me. That’s all You want. My heart and my time. But it’s not something You demand, it’s something You gently ask for, then You woo us into loving You. I love the word “woo.” It’s an onomatopoeia. It’s a word that sounds like what it is. Wooing is gentle and sweet. It readies in for a kiss as the “oo” sound causes the puckering of lips “oh smother me with Your kisses divine.” Mericiful One — full of Grace. We separated ourselves and yet You pursued us until we became Yours. But even past that… You don’t leave us alone. You want a deeper relationship. How insane to think: Someone who has all the power of creation, wonder and glory craves to bring us close to His heart. You created us for no other purpose than to just love and Love You. But You didn’t make us robots instead you gifted us with free will even though You knew we would fall away and cause You such pain. How beautiful.
You set so many patterns in life to teach us Your heart for us. Instead of collecting dust of the earth and breathing into us like You did Adam and Eve, You knit us together in our mother’s womb. You created us out of relationship for relationship. You set us up to be 3 just as You are 3: Father, Mother, Son You put Yourself in a context we could see, understand, and replicate. How generous You are.
Years ago now, one of Your daughters gave me a wooden elephant and told me that is who she saw me in the spirit. Out of the plethora of attributes she could have chosen to connect to me, she said, “You have Elephant ears. They have an incredible ability to flick a part of their large ear and tune into sounds from far away. Just as you have the ability to easily tune in and hear the Father’s voice.”
I don’t think I ever realized how beautiful a gift that is. I abused it I know. I purposely put my brain on a static channel or switch it off completely. Forgive me. I know I do it out of fear. Lead me to Your heart in this. I don’t want it (the fear) anymore. I want to stay constantly tuned into You and Your heart for those around me.
Though I sometimes wonder: do I have have elephant ears because You gifted them to me? Or simply because I believe I have them? And You are always speaking to me just as You are always speaking to all Your sons and daughters?
I think it’s both. You gifted me with a direct word of truth. AND You are always speaking, longing to connect with us more than we want connection with You. What would my life look like if I learned of You outside the church? What if I met You on the street from someone who told me the simple truth about You? What if the Bible was new and I didn’t know the stories of Jonah, Job, Jacob, Joseph or Jesus? What if my first encounter with You was healing of my physical body followed by the encouragement to proclaim You my savior and the truth that You want to speak right to my heart directly in that moment?
Would I be more on fire for You then? Would I love You more if I had that kind of “suddenly God” testimony?
What if I had a self before I knew You? That I remember and knew was broken?
What if I came to You with no box, no expectations, no pre-conceived notions, no lies?
What would our relationship look like? If I could trust You without doubt or reservation?
If I’m being honest, a part of me wishes that were more my story. But another part of me is grateful I never knew a day that I didn’t know I could run to You. I wouldn’t have made it past the age of 14. And here I am 27 and on the most incredible journey with You. Getting to meet the fruit of Your creation, the amazing people You place in their perfect place in the world to learn what they have to teach me, to connect to them to enter into the inner chambers of Your heart through getting to know them.
Lord I feel as if I am back at the beginning as the cry of my heart is I HAVE NO WORDS. No words to describe how incredible You are, how deep You are, how good and faithful You are. Let me never lose my wonder of You. Let me never lose sight of You or grow complacent in living my day without You.
