I have never once not had my needs (or often wants) met. I have grown up in a family that has been blessed with enough money to provide for the things that I need and want; Leftovers crowd our fridge after we have had our fill, clothing attempts to break free from my overstuffed closet and drawers, there are plenty of rooms in my house to escape into to be alone (if that need ever arises…which, being a huge extrovert, it doesn’t often! But the option is still there), the plastic tub of shoes in my closet could supply a small village with barely used shoes (not to mention the shoe rack of shoes that I wear on a more regular basis), the keyboard, trumpet and guitar that sit in a corner of my room and cry to be played more often, the bins of gloves, bats, balls, hockey sticks, rackets and all other forms of sports equipment line the walls of our garage. While this may seem like a blog displaying how well off I was growing up, that is not its purpose. This is actually a blog about how much I need God.
Seem a bit conflicting? Yeah. It did to me at first too.
To be honest, I have never felt the need for God in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I could never imagine life without God, but I have never needed to say a prayer in search of food for my next meal or how I would have enough clothing to stay warm or where I would lay my head and rest each night. By being blessed with these necessities every day of my life, it was easy to forget just how much I need God. And, no, this blog does not talk about how I have needed God in these areas now, because even on the race I haven’t had to worry about these things. We still get three meals a day (and yes we often have leftovers to place in the fridge), I still have way more than enough clothing (even if I do wear the same outfit over and over again), and I always have a place to lay my head each night (yes, sometimes that means a tent in a damp sleeping bag, but I still have a tent and sleeping bag in which to sleep in).
Before I left for the race, I wrote a blog titled “Hypocrites Anonymous.” I referenced Romans 7:14-25 and stated that the end of the passage promises that no matter how many times we do the things we know to be wrong and fall to sin, Jesus sets all things right. While this is true, I am not sure that this was Paul’s point. The point is not to keep doing the same thing over and over again just to pray “God, I know I messed up again, but you’ve got it covered, right?” and then repeat. This is not what Paul meant when he said “He [Jesus Christ] acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.” (Romans 7:25-Message). And this is not what God intends for our relationship with Him. God knows that we struggle with sin and that we can’t fight it on our own; it’s why He gave us His son. We know what is right and what we should do, and yet often, we rebel. We make decisions to follow God, and yet our actions don’t agree. Yes, we are prisoners to sin and yes, we always will be, but through the glory and grace of God, it gets easier.
I need God and His strength to fight against sin because I am not strong enough to do it on my own. I need God to give me joy when working with kids on the days I am tired and just want to climb back into bed. I need God to help me love others when my love is not enough. I need God to give me hope when I want to give up. Sometimes I need God to give me the desire to worship Him.
Bottom line: I need God daily to succeed where I would normally fail.
