On the long bus ride from Peru to Bolivia, I spent quite a bit of time thinking about what the short debrief was going to look like. I knew that some tough conversations were going to happen with the squad leaders and Team Favoured, but I had no idea what that would look like. One of the frequent thoughts that continuously ran through my head in those long hours was that our team was not going to change. It couldn’t. There were still too many things that God had in store for us, and one thing was for sure: I was going to fight for our team and make it known that the Lord wasn’t done with that group of 7 yet!
That is, until I got to Bolivia.
After a conversation with Kelly, Tiff and Josh the first night we arrived, day two began with a knock on my door at 10 a.m. (waking me up) and Kelly standing in my doorway informing me that they had some information for me. I went down to their room and they told me that I was going to be on team Veracity.
And I just sat there.
No fight. No objection. Just acceptance.
Why? Because in my heart, I already knew that this is where the Lord planned for me to be. This is the next part of my journey. That even though it sucks, that it is good.
I left the room and spent the next hour with Jesus, and here is what He spoke:
(Picture of my journal entry, explained below)
During our short conversation about the team change, Josh talked some about grief and that it is okay to grieve the loss of Team Favoured, so that is where I began: Grief.
I looked up grief in the back of my Bible and it took me to 2 Corinthians 7:10
Almost instantly after reading this, the Lord directed my thoughts to Jeremiah 29:11
Peace defined as the absence of conflict but also as the presence of blessing, which comes especially in a right relationship with God. The more I opened up and trusted in the plans that God has for me, the more peace I felt.
A right relationship with God -> the presence of blessing -> Peace!
A future that is completely and fully reliant on God and one where trust in Him is placed above all things.
And hope, confidence that the things that God has promised will occur.
I then heard these words very clearly spoken to me:
I know that on this team.
In this place.
At this time.
Healing is going to happen.
The Lord has huge plans for my future and they all begin with the healing of my heart that is going to happen here.
I then looked up healing in the back of my Bible and was led to Malachi 4:2
The sun of righteousness will bring light to the darkness. God will bring healing to those who seek Him and who rest under His mercy and grace.
As this thought ended, a song playing on my IPod came on with the lyrics:
So many great things have happened on the race so far. It’s hard to imagine life without the people I have lived it with for the last three months. It sucks that they won’t see my growth and experiences first hand and that I won’t see theirs.
But greater things are yet to come.
For me. For Team Favoured. For Team Veracity.
