In Thailand, I fasted from something different each day. This is part two of that week (go read part one first if you haven’t already!)
09/20/2013—Fasting from sarcastic comments
As a person that has something sarcastic to say about 1 out of 5 times a phrase exits my mouth, I thought today would be difficult. It proved otherwise, however. For some reason, holding my tongue in situations where a sarcastic comment would have otherwise been made wasn’t too difficult. Yes, I did think of many quick comments I could have made, but I didn’t actually say them. Maybe because I had gotten used to thinking about what I was saying before I said things from previous days of fasting. Also, contrary to popular belief, not being sarcastic does not mean that you are no longer funny.
09/21/2013—Fasting from saying “No”
Think about the movie “Yes, Man!” and that will give you an idea of what I was fasting today. Not going to lie, I was nervous for today. The first half of our day we hung out with the kids at the boy’s home and then the second half of the day was free. There were some people heading into the city for dinner and I kept secretly saying a prayer that no one would directly ask me if I wanted to go because I had little money and no intention of spending it to get into town where I wouldn’t be able to eat because of the cost. Thankfully, God answers prayers and no one asked me. A few things I had to say yes to today (there aren’t many on the list that I normally wouldn’t say yes to…): Playing card games. Running late at night (I think it might have been raining that night…). A pair of earrings made of coke tops from South Africa that a teammate no longer wanted (I don’t even have pierced ears…maybe one of you reading this will get them as a gift!). Overall, not too hard of a task (although I believe it could have been a lot worse!).
09/22/2013—Fasting from sight
Fasting from sight. What a day! I woke up this morning, walked down stairs and put a blindfold on for what would prove to be one of the most interesting days of the race. First stop, church. With the assistance of teammates, I made my way to a seat toward the back of the church and sat as some of the kids came up to me, asking what was wrong with my eyes, poking me in the side, and offering me candy (a hard thing to accept and trust I found out when you can’t see what the candy is…). One of the girls was insistent on finding out what was wrong with my eyes and did not understand or believe me when I told her that my eyes were fine and that I was just trying to see what it was like to not be able to use my eyes for a day (no pun intended!). Church started and after standing and “singing” songs that we don’t know the words to, I sat and listened to the pastor preach a sermon in Thai. Usually, our teams sat and caught up on some Bible reading or journaling during this time. Not for me. Would have probably been a great time to think or pray or something, but I did none of that. I just sat. And listened. After church we ate lunch (a noodle dish that I somehow ate quite easily) and hung out with the kids. I had one of my teammates bring me a guitar and I worshiped. It was one of the most freeing worship times for me. Because I was unable to see, I wasn’t worried about who might be looking at me as I sang or distracted by what else was happening around me. I just worshiped; me and God. After that, we got back in the truck and went back home. I took a nap until we left for dinner (what else would I do with that much time to spare and no sight??). For dinner we were heading to an Italian place in the center of Chiang Mai. We parked a little distance from the restaurant and walked the rest of the way. As we walked along the busy street, I became anxious. Those cars/motos sounded close! Trust became a huge factor of the night. Also, do you know how much faster you feel like you are walking when you can’t see?! We got to the restaurant, ordered dinner (I had a delicious mushroom and cheese ravioli and am pretty proud at my success at eating it without making a mess!), and then headed out to the Sunday night market (only the busiest place we could have gone that night!). I spent the night with Mindy and Katie. We went and ate bugs (so much harder, in my opinion, to do when you can’t see what you are about to eat!) and walked around the market looking for things that they wanted to buy. They did an amazing job of helping me and not getting frustrated or annoyed and also told me play-by-plays of other people’s reactions to me. Here are a few I remember: One lady came up to me and waved her hand in front of my face (with no reaction from me of course…although I wish I would have known somehow so I could have scared her somehow!). A lot of people kept looking back at us as we walked (and I got even more stares when I was standing by myself as Katie and Mindy shopped a few feet away). When Mindy went to shop at a table, Katie led me off to the side out of the way of the people walking. There was music being played that you would do a jig to so I said to Katie that we could do a jig and started dancing. She laughs, turns me to face the other direction and says here, now you can dance and explains to me that I had been standing close to a table facing a lady that was selling things there and we were the only people near the table (oops!! One thing I loved about being blindfolded was that I could totally be myself and not care about what other people thought because I couldn’t see their reaction anyway!). We left the market after 3 hours of shopping to go back home. Here are a few things that I learned by being blind for the day:
- TRUST is huge!! There needs to be a lot of trust to be led around a busy city (or even a quiet house) and not get hurt.
- When you lose one of your senses, the other ones become heightened. Everything around me seems way louder and way closer to me than normal.
- It is really hard to hear a specific person, even if they are just a few feet away from you. A lot of communication (at least on my end) involves reading someone’s lips as they speak. By not being able to do this, their voice just blends in with everyone else’s voice around them.
- A lot of the things that we do (or more often don’t do) are dependent on other people’s reactions to them (or what we anticipate their reactions to be). We care so much about what other people think that we often don’t do things that we actually want to do (like dance in the middle of the sidewalk when we hear music playing).
Overall, I really love my ability to see and see well, but I think I might worship more often without my sight. Also, I will strive to live my life more like I did when I couldn’t see; unaware of the judging glances of others and be free to be me instead.
