In this blog I will be informing you of one individual named Grumpy. (Note: this is also a commentary blog on the hilarity involved in my team.)
The first title of this person, Mr. Grumpy, was given because he was an individual whose motives were never clear. He visited at irregular times of day, did not stick around for long periods of time, and just did not have his life together. He did have fairly regular office hours during the day though, and we could regularly find him on his break in the forest, or at night, if we wished. His only requirement was that we were on time with our visits. Never be late for a meeting with Mr. Grumpy; you will regret it.
It was also concluded he was a doctor, so the conversations my team had of Mr. Grumpy usually consisted of how he felt that day, the frequency of our appointments, how well our conversations with him went, and whether or not a follow-up appointment was necessary. “The doctor was in” was used a few times that week.
Sample of actual conversation:
Teammate 1: “I will join you in ministry shortly. I think I have an appointment with Mr. Grumpy in a few minutes. It hopefully will not take too long.”
*a few minutes pass*
Teammate 2: “How was your appointment?”
Teammate 1: “He moved offices from the back to the front building. His back office had a gecko in the seat.”
*several minutes pass*
Teammate 2: ” Did you meet him this time?”
Teammate 1: “He canceled on me.”
Teammate 2: “Maybe he will be there later.”
After about a week, we decided to prompt this individual from “mister” to “lord”. This promotion was given because we found ourselves needing to take some sort of offering with us when we went to meet him. If we met him in a building, we needed water, usually half a bucket to a full bucket. If we met him in the forest, we needed to take a shovel, although we were allowed to keep that in the end. And always, without fail, he required a offering of toilet paper. The conversations about the lord were more fun to have, as they required more creative thinking to assess the situations.
Sample of actual conversation:
Teammate 1: “I am being summoned.”
Teammate 2: “Don’t forget your offerings!”
*several minutes pass*
Teammate 1: “the lord was pleased with my offering.”
Teammate 2: “congratulations! May the offerings continue to be in your favor. Just be sure not to displease him. His wrath is not something with which to mess.”
The final promotion Grumpy received was the title of “Judge Grumpy”. We mostly referred to him as “the Judge”. Frankly, I’m not exactly sure why this promotion happened, I was just informed of the situation. Apparently, just to change it up, there were two titles suggested, and the Judge was the ultimate decision. When the defendant went to an arraignment with the Judge, we had to take our papers and arguments, as well as other things we needed in the courtroom. There were moments we almost missed our trial times, because the times were changed without our knowledge. The conversations centered around the judge got even more creative. Courtroom language can be quite confusing if one is not used to it.
Sample of actual conversation:
Teammate 1: “I am going to be late for my trial with the judge if I don’t leave now.”
Teammate 2: “Didn’t you have a trial this morning?”
Teammate 1: “Yeah, but I have another one now, too.”
Teammate 2: “wow, two in one day? What offense did you commit to have two sentencings in one day?!”
If you haven’t figured out who Mr. Grumpy is, our team has decided to make the regular conversations of bowel movements more interesting and hilarious… We will be changing the name of the offending individual each month.
This has been a commentary on the creativity and joy of my team.
