This blog is another train-of-thought blog, showing you exactly what I am thinking and feeling right now.
*Warning! It’s not exactly pretty…*
20 September 2016:
I am frustrated. Scheduling have changed yet again, and I now have to sit around for two hours before we actually have to leave. People are also now complaining about the changes and about poor communication of the original plan. First of all, schedule changes have been happening for the entire Race!! That is pretty much a given! The original plan is almost never follow exactly! You should all know this by now!! Secondly, if the original plan was not communicated properly, I apologize for that, because that shouldn’t happen, but that plan isn’t even in action anymore and the current plan, the one you should know, has been told clearly!
Also, I hate goodbyes. I thought I wasn’t really attached to anyone this month, but I still avoided saying goodbye to multiple people. I had to say goodbye to key people who came and found me, but I avoided others so my heart wouldn’t hurt as much. It’s not working though. I still hate leaving people.
I’m also quite tired, and just want to get on the bus and sleep for the next several hours. This is a very real possibility because we are driving through the night. It’s actually a blessing when there are 28 people in one bus. Less stops and bathroom breaks because almost everyone is sleeping…
23 September 2016:
It’s now three days later. We traveled for over 24 hours, and we had to end up taking public transportation for the last 7 hours of it. Our first bus broke down in Lusaka and we had to still get to Livingston.
We have now been here for two days. Yesterday we slept in and spent the afternoon and evening going through breakout sessions, squad time, and an evening of sharing. Today we spent the day at Victoria Falls. I was in the sun for many hours, and walked around a lot today. I also had to endure walking around with souvenir shoppers and salesmen, as well as getting home later because we needed to get food for travel days. I’m now exhausted. My thought process is to curl into a ball, and cry while going to sleep. I’m not frustrated, but it’s being annoyed for reasons I don’t really know. I want nothing to do with anyone right now, yet I’m in a room with 7 other girls talking about their day, and showing off their shopping. Seriously. Shut up and let me sleep. I already have to travel with you people early tomorrow. I don’t really want to hear all about this tonight. It’s frustrating that no one seems to notice, and yet I’m trying to not be noticed. I’m trying to blend into the wall and my bed. I don’t like this feeling.
Oh, and by the way, just because I am a team leader does not mean I know anything about squad travel! I know as much as you. If you need answers, go ask someone in logistics. If the answer “I don’t know yet. I still need to ask.” isn’t good enough, maybe you need to check yourself before trying to find answers.
Okay. I’m good. Just needed to get that out.
#GodIsInControl #redefiningdisciple
#THIRD
