As with most things on the Race, being second is easier said than done. This week has been an important lesson in trust and being second, as well as how to W0rship.
I was asked last week to lead w0rship at the fellowship we attend on Sundays here. I didn’t really want to say yes, but I did. I have chosen songs, played instruments, sang, and led before, but doing all of them in one week was a new challenge. I have also noticed in the States that the Saturday night before I was scheduled to play I often will not sleep well, and try to plan everything possible for the next morning.
Here, the experience was different. I was planning and worrying for a while, and throughout the week I slowly pr*yed my trust back into Father’s hands. I actually forgot to plan to the point of forgetting to send the songs to one of the singers until the night before practice… Oops! I didn’t think too much about w0rship until Saturday morning when I got up. We have practice that day, so I needed to get ready for it. Practice took longer than I thought, and we didn’t get a whole lot of songs to the level of rehearsal I would have liked.
Honestly, I was frustrated really for no reason. The songs were gorgeous, the team had time to connect, and we really did know what we were doing.
I went through the day planning and worrying and pr*ying, in that order. As we played volleyball on the beach and went to dinner, I was feeling exhausted and emotional, just dealing with all of the thoughts flowing through my heart.
I went to my team last night and told them how I was feeling. I asked for pr*yer for everything I was thinking and feeling.
While they pr*yed over me, I already began feeling better. They specifically asked for peace and a good night’s sleep. I got both.
This morning some of those feelings began to creep back into my head. One of my teammates came over to my bed and pr*yed for me and I went to eat still feeling a little on edge. Right after eating, I spent some time talking with Father. I asked him about what I should ask him, and he quietly answered, “Ask me who I am.” Okay, Father, who are you? “I AM. I just want you to be.” I am kind of confused by that statement. How can I be today? “Because I AM.”
I serve the I AM. He Is, therefore I can be. It doesn’t take anything else. Because he is, I can w0rship him alone and just be. It’s not about perfection. It’s not about the people around me. It’s not about singing or playing the right notes. When we w0rship in music and song, Father hears the beautiful and perfect music of his children pr*ising him and making him higher than all else.
The I AM lives. Therefore, I can be.
