If you’ve been around me for any extended period of time, you may have heard me utter my favorite clump of words, “I just want to live.”
Some of the time, it is because I would love to skirt responsibility and reality.
Most of the time, it’s what I genuinely want.
I guess by “living,” I mean actively participating in my God-given passions. You know, those things that make you feel purposeful and alive.
I know I haven’t lived very long, but I already see how life can get overrun with responsibility, routine and expectations. None of these things are bad on their own; however, they can distract us from living the passion-filled life God has for us.
With all this said, it’s almost quitting time. I’ll head home in exactly 1 week.
I look back on this year with a grateful heart (which is convenient since it is Thanksgiving time).
I LIVED!
I got to live out my fullest definition of LIVING for a year.
I truly woke up every morning filled with passion and purpose. I woke up excited about the ridiculous adventures that would most likely ensue that day.
I lived every day KNOWING I was exactly where God wanted me to be.
I lived with minimal distractions, being able to solely FOCUS on ministry and my relationship with the Lord.
I lived without worrying where my daily provisions would come, because God had already PROVIDED everything, even before I stepped foot in another country.
I lived out the ADVENTUROUS SPIRIT that the Lord gave me – exploring new cities, learning new cultures and languages, meeting new friends, zip lining, shark cage diving, etc.
I lived with new REVELATION of who God is and what it means to serve Him!
Were there moments that were not so glamorous? Hard? Frustrating? Just plain annoying? ABSOLUTELY! But the amazing thing…I still knew I was exactly where I needed to be and (when thinking rationally) wanted to be nowhere else.
Thinking about my experience this year brought a verse to mind:
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17
This year was truly a gift from God. I couldn’t have asked for anything that I WANTED or NEEDED more.
Can I be a little transparent? I get scared that this is it. This is my one year to be fully alive and filled with passion. Is that silly and irrational?
i keep taking that fear to the Lord and He continues to remind me of His faithfulness. God wants my life to be purpose-filled and as I continue to walk with Him, He is going to give me purpose and fulfillment (FROM and FOR Him) that will make me jump out of bed every morning. (And we all know I'm not a morning person!)
I don't know what my life is going to look like in another week (and that's a weird realization), but I do know that wherever God's will leads me, He will be my purpose and passion.
Will it always be easy to grab a hold of and see in the mundane circumstances of life? No! But this year, I have seen a tiny glimpse into what it means to "walk by the Spirit" and I've seen how ADVENTUROUS things can get when you allow that.
So bring on whatever responsibilities and expectations that a new season holds, but again I say…
I JUST WANT TO LIVE!
