It was difficult to know that some women were outright slaves, taken from their homes. It was difficult to speak to women who clearly didn’t want to be prostitutes but felt it was their best financial option. It was difficult to see a man with a wedding band on playing footsies with a woman who was clearly not his wife. It was difficult to see men prancing around looking more feminine than me. It was difficult to see young children carried away for God only knows what. And it was difficult to see Americans and Australians and Brits and Thai alike buy human beings with numbers pinned on them, like cattle.
No. I’m sorry. Difficult doesn’t explain it. I don’t think there is a word in the English language that describes how hard any of that was to witness.
But I was prepared to see all that. As gross as that sounds, we had been forewarned that all that was the norm. What really got to me, what really broke my heart was what I hadn’t prepared for.
Yes, there are men who come to Pattaya and pay to have sex with a woman (or a lady boy) for an evening. But there are also many others that buy a woman for the month. These “couples” (I use that term loosely) spend all their nights and all their days together. I saw them siteseeing together, riding motorcycles together, and sitting in awkward silence at restaurants together.
While in line at the grocery store, I was standing behind one such couple. They were clearly getting ready for a BBQ. They’d bought the meat, the citranela candles, the solo cups and the BBQ sauce. The couple behind me in line was an old man with a much younger Thai woman. They were buying ping pong paddles and badminton birdies and racquets. That’s when it hit me…these men just want someone to love and care for them. Many of them are not looking for a prostitute; they’re looking for a companion. The more I saw, the more it became clearer, and the sadder I got for them. They just want a woman to laugh at their jokes, to hold their hands, to kiss on the forehead, to play badminton with!
And then I started getting angry at the girls. I know, I know, that sounds ridiculous and is certainly not politically correct. Plus, the girls are the victims, right? Absolutely, but they’re not the only ones God cries out for, and they weren’t the only ones I was crying for. I am NOT saying that these women are to blame, please don’t read that. It is entirely true that if all these men went away, the industry would die and there would be no financial reasoning for this occupation. I AM saying that Thai culture, and the global 21st century in general, is causing generations of women to turn their backs on everything God has called us as women to be. So many women don’t know Who loves them, and they, therefore, can’t show anyone real love.
Going back to Eve, woman was created to showcase God’s beauty. But beauty isn’t just a physical thing; a major part of that is showing just how loving and relational God was and is. With this in mind, one of our primary jobs is to protect relationships and give life in all forms. That means encouraging, nurturing, and truly seeing a person through God’s eyes. That means inviting people into relationships modeled off of God the Trinity.
Now Eve gets a bad rep, but her initial role is so imperative to explaining who God is and who God wants women to be.
So my question is where are all the Eves??? Thailand is desperate for her. We need Eves to stand up and say no, ‘I am special.’ We need Eves to demand real men to stop being so passive. We need Eves to illustrate that beauty is first and foremost internal.
This is a nation that is oversexed to the point of no return. A nation where I walked down the street and saw a grown man pull a little boy’s pants down just to laugh at him. There is no sexual innocence in this country. Young girls are taught by their mothers and in school to marry a foreigner. Prostitutes are placed on a pedastal because they have all the money. And the nation is sinking as a result. The men that come here, desperate for love, are sinking as a result.
As I saw all these hundreds upon hundreds of men, I couldn’t help but cry. They looked like my dad and my stepdad and my cousins and my uncles and my 3rd grade teacher. They weren’t my loved ones, but they were someone’s dad, and someone’s stepdad and someone’s cousin, and uncle and possibly someone’s 3rd grade teacher. It’s appalling that places like this exist, but what’s even more appalling is that our world has allowed this desperation for love to occur. Because that desperation is everywhere, not just Pattaya, Thailand. But love was never intended to be difficult to find…if you know where to look.
