We’re two weeks into our ministry month in Malaysia. It has been pretty low-key, but we have been able to develop such close relationships with the people here; they feel like family. Our ministry consists of house visits, speaking at church gatherings, and evangelism. Much of our time is spent fellowshipping with the pastor’s family and other church members by enjoying long meals together. When I realized how chill this month was going to be, I got a little restless. Last month was pretty relaxed as well and I was hoping to pick up the pace a little bit.
Dr. Sam, our ministry contact and pastor for the month, told us from the get-go, “Enjoy!”
“I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” –Jesus, John 10:10
Last month in Thailand, my team all signed up to run a race. Kate, Becca, and Erin ran the 10.5K and Val and I did the 4K Fun Run. I remember wishing that I still had Steve T with me, pushing me to continue working out so that I would’ve been in shape to do the 10.5K. Val and I jogged the 4K at an easy pace and even stopped to walk as we went up a big hill, drank water at the 1/2way point, and eased a cramp from drinking all that cold water. I never asked if we could push it and go faster, but in my head I wished that we were running harder. As I crossed the finish line, I felt good. It was easy and it was fun. I didn’t like that. To me, exercise means pain, pushing myself to the point where I’m afraid I might collapse. It’s no wonder that I can never stick to an exercise regimen! It’s not enjoyable at all; it’s miserable.
That’s kind of how I went into the World Race. I expected to be pushed to my breaking point on all different levels. I expected to see horrifying things that my heart can barely handle. I expected to labor physically for long hours in the hot sun. I expected to enter into dangerous situations, risking my life to share the Gospel and to pull others out of that dangerous lifestyle. I expected to see and do crazy, powerful things to change the world, bringing God’s Kingdom to earth. I expected to be on my knees crying out to the Lord every morning and evening because my need for Him was so evident and so overwhelming. I expected to be completely exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually at the end of all this. I wanted to show God just how much I’d sacrifice for Him. I wanted to lay it all on the line.
This Race hasn’t looked like that at all! Our contacts have been so good to us, making sure we are taken care of and that we get enough rest. A lot of our ministry has involved making friends, listening to stories, having fun with kids, and praying for people. I can see how God has moved in each month and I know that what we’ve done has made a significant impact. I’m tired and I still have to depend on God completely to do anything, but this has been quite a pleasant experience. I feel like I have been more blessed than I have poured out blessings (this is just how our good God works – when we bless others in His name, He’ll bless us 100-fold). I struggled with this for quite awhile. As ridiculous as it sounds, I got upset that I wasn’t suffering in agony. I got anxious, wanting to do more and give more, feeling like I wasn’t doing or giving enough. I wanted to suffer and sacrifice for my Lord and Savior.
But this isn’t what God wants for us.
What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil – this is God’s gift to man. – Ecclesiastes 3:9-13
God wants us to enjoy life! He gives good gifts to His children and He just wants us to enjoy them. When our contact takes us to the beach, God doesn’t want me to feel guilty for it; He wants me to go have fun, pour out my joy on those around me, and thank Him for it. When I get to eat generous portions of delicious Indian food (there’s a lot of that this month, I love it!), He doesn’t want me to get caught up in thinking how much I don’t deserve this; He just wants me to eat, enjoy the fellowship, and glorify Him in that. When I have time to rest, He doesn’t want me to think of all the things I could be doing; He wants me to REST and to have some quality time with Him, recharging and rejuvenating my body and soul. As Dr. Sam says, “Burn, but don’t get burnt out.” Or, as Garrett would sing to us, “Burn and burn and burn and burn…”
Yes, we may endure suffering as Christians; in fact the Bible tells us that we will suffer (Romans 8:17). But that doesn’t mean that we have to be suffering all the time! God delights in seeing His children smile and laugh. His heart is warmed when we take delight in the blessings He has given to us and when we thank Him for being so good to us. God also calls us to be good stewards of all that He has given to us and to not selfishly overindulge. It’s a balance and it is all about our heart posture.
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. – Colossians 3:17
I now realize after 8 months that my desire to be a martyr was sinful, because I wanted to impress God with my sacrifice for Him. I thank God for teaching me this important lesson; for allowing me to enjoy and appreciate the work He has given me to do.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. -1Thessalonians 5:16-18
Let’s rejoice in whatever season God has us in, whether we’re enduring suffering or being showered with blessings. Wherever we’re at, God has us there for our good and His glory. This season will only last for awhile, and then we’ll enter into a new one. Let’s make the most of where God has us. He has us there for a reason. He wants us to learn and grow and ultimately, step into deeper intimacy with Him, drawing others into this intimacy along the way. That should be our only goal because our salvation is not based on works but on a relationship.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. – Romans 15:13
***I’d love to share a praise report with you! I am now fully funded! Praise the Lord! A HUGE thank you to all who have supported me with finances, prayers, and words of encouragement. I wouldn’t be here without you. Thank you!!!!! May the Lord bless you for the ways you have blessed me.
Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!
Serve the Lord with gladness!
Come into His presence with singing!
Know that the Lord, He is God!
It is He who made us, and we are His;
we are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving,
and His courts with praise!
Give thanks to Him; bless His name!
For the Lord is good;
His steadfast love endures forever,
and His faithfulness to all generations.
-Psalm 100
